MY ADVICE ON BEING CRITICAL by ML Qualls

ML Qualls

  · MY ADVICE ON BEING CRITICAL…although there are times when you have a legitimate complaint about your spouse, church, boss, friends, pastors, etc. , it’s important to show character when we’ve got a genuine criticism. Anger and criticism are similar in that they have a place in our lives, but can be easily misguided. Here are 10 questions you need to consider when you’re being critical even if you feel justified about the issue….NOTE: This post focuses on the problems that may arise in our relationships with one another – not the deeply troubling emotional, spiritual, and even physical injuries some have experienced due to abusive treatment from other people.1.HAVE YOU BEEN HURT?…were you directly effected by the situation or was it just by proxy? In other words, were you offended on behalf of someone else. It’s usually a little silly to be upset about something you are completely unaffected by in any way. The truth is, you’re being critical because you’re just a busybody.2.HAVE YOU BEEN HOLY?…Psalm 119:165 says, “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.” As a general rule, people who consistently walk with God will rarely be critical of other people. They usually try to understand or will even excuse the actions of other people in any given situation. 3.HAVE YOU BEEN HAUNTED?…are you looking through the “eyes of abuse”? In other words, you were hurt in the past and treat every situation with a plaintiff’s outlook. Like the “race card”, the “victim card” supersedes reality and common sense. It’s unfair to force people who love you to stand in the shadows of someone who has wounded you.4.HAVE YOU BEEN HINDERED?…Paul posed a question in I Corinthians 6:7, “Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?” If you can simply forgive the wrong in your own heart, it may be best for the sake of the home, church, job site , etc. This is not always the route you have to take, but it you should consider it.5.HAVE YOU BEEN HOODWINKED?…is it possible that the whole situation is just a simple misunderstanding? Are you upset by something that someone said or did, but you don’t have direct proof? It’s not wise to go by rumors, innuendoes , or hearsay…it wouldn’t stand up in a court of law either.6.HAVE YOU BEEN HONEST?…while you complain that no one cares about you because they haven’t reached out to you in a time of need, ask yourself this question? “Have I reached out to others when they needed me?” Do you call, text, message, or write people the way you expect them too connect with you? Don’t be hypocritical in your hurt.7.HAVE YOU BEEN HEARD?…Jesus said in Luke 17:3, “If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him;” You have a right to approach the person who has crossed the line with you. The goal is to correct the problem respectfully and restore the relationship. If you’re unwilling to do that, you either lack self-confidence or you just love the drama.8.HAVE YOU BEEN HELPFUL?…it may surprise some, but you have the responsibility to clarify your issue to those who could resolve the problem. Quitting your job or your church before going to your boss, pastor, or the deacons will guarantee that the problem will never be resolved. Most of the time, it will hurt you the most in the long run.9.HAVE YOU BEEN HARSH?…has the person or people who wronged you actually try to make it right? Has the situation been rectified as much as possible? Jesus went on to say in Luke 17:3, “and if he repent, forgive him.”We shouldn’t make any situation impossible to be fixed on our end. Hold yourself to a higher standard than you expect of others – not the other way around.10.HAVE YOU BEEN HUMBLE?…a simple principle that God taught me years ago is this, “A compliment goes to the head, but a criticism goes to the heart.” Even from an unfair source, criticism toward yourself should always lead to self-examination to some degree. Be slow in your criticism of others, but let criticism toward yourself help develop and mature you.THE OBJECTIVE IN OUR WALK WITH GOD IS TO MAINTAIN OUR VIEW OF CALVARY IN EVERY SITUATION WE FACE. ALTHOUGH I DON’T BELIEVE THAT GOD WANTS US TO BE A DOORMAT THAT EVERYONE CAN JUST WALK ALL OVER AND GET US DIRTY, I DO BELIEVE WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT HAVING A CRITICAL SPIRIT. THE OCCASIONAL ISSUE IS TO BE EXPECTED FROM TIME TO TIME, BUT IT SHOULDN’T BE A WAY OF LIFE SO GUARD YOUR HEART WHEN YOU HAVE A LEGITIMATE CRITICISM. GOD SPEED.