DON’T PAMPER YOUR CHILDREN  January 3, 2017  Lori Alexander

“Gentle Parenting” is the rage right now. Some even refuse to say “no” to their children. They have their children sleep in their beds. They would never spank their children, because they claim Jesus is a gentle parent. We were gentle parents but not in this way. We were kind, loving, affectionate, warm, and joyful with our children, but we said “no” often to them as the Lord says “no” to us about many things that harm us or are not good for us. They didn’t sleep in our beds, because we are both light sleepers. We spanked them on their bottoms but, we never abused them. We were firm parents but didn’t pampered them continually. (Pamper means “to treat with extreme or excessive care and attention.”)

Now, I have no problem with the way you raise your children. You can never say “no,” let them sleep in your bed, and never spank them but make sure they obey you. It was easy for us to teach our children to obey us. They knew from an early age when we told them to do something, they would do it.  We didn’t have to watch them continually, since we taught them what they could and could not do. They knew they weren’t the boss of the home and wouldn’t always get their way. Temper tantrums weren’t allowed and fighting with each other wasn’t either. We put a stop to these early and firmly. We taught them not to be afraid of the dark and have unwarranted fears very early on, so they grew up not being afraid because we continually spoke truth into their lives.

They didn’t have a lot of toys, a television in their own room, all the newest and latest gadgets, and they ate what we fed them. I didn’t allow them to be picky eaters. When they were sick, we would comfort them but not allow them to complain since complaining is forbidden in scripture. As they grew older, they didn’t have sleep overs and watch all the movies their friends were watching. Ken was especially firm with the boys. He wanted them to be tough, since life is tough. We taught them that life will be hard but cling to Jesus. Soft living will never produce strong adults.

It doesn’t mean you can’t give them nice gifts, take them on vacations, and have fun with them. It also doesn’t mean you can’t ever pamper them at home or when they are very sick needing special attention, but it shouldn’t be a way of life and define the way you raise your children. There is great harm done to children who are continually pampered. They will grow up to be emotionally weak and unable to handle the storms of life if you do. Boys will grow up to be lazy men, and daughters to be rebellious and do as they please.

My adult children are strong and find their strength in the Lord. They have all weathered storms in their life and some still are. There will always be storms in our lives at times. Yes, trials are hard, but they don’t complain about them. They all love the Lord and stand upon His Word.

Real life doesn’t pamper us at all. There are trials, hardships, and sufferings. We are promised tribulation while on this earth. Pampering doesn’t benefit your children at all. Many wives have husbands who were pampered as children and when they are sick, they moan and complain. It is the same with many wives when they are in pain or sick. Teach your children to do otherwise. Make them as comfortable as you can, but teach them to not complain, unless they are in extreme pain, then they can’t help but moan. (When one of my sons was young, he fell off of a trampoline and broke his elbow. I took him to the doctor and held him on my lap for over an hour until the doctor saw him. He was in so much pain that he couldn’t stop crying.)

Is Jesus a gentle parent? Yes, but He doesn’t pamper us. He tells us to be take joy when we encounter various trials, because they bring forth good fruit. He doesn’t shield us and keep us from pain and suffering. He uses them for good in our lives. Pain is a great teacher. You don’t touch a hot stove, since you know it will burn you. You don’t fool around with porn, since in the end, it will harm you and your marriage.

Teach your children to be strong in the Lord and to not fear the things of this world, since they are all passing away. We have a mansion waiting for us in heaven where there will be no more pain or suffering. Hope is a beautiful thing, and we have perfect hope in the Lord.

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Hebrews 12:6-8

Don’t Pamper Your Children – The Transformed Wife