{"id":10038,"date":"2022-06-19T13:56:38","date_gmt":"2022-06-19T17:56:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/?p=10038"},"modified":"2022-06-19T13:56:40","modified_gmt":"2022-06-19T17:56:40","slug":"american-dating-culture-destroys-gods-simple-plan-of-marriage-by-bill-taylor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2022\/06\/19\/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods-simple-plan-of-marriage-by-bill-taylor\/","title":{"rendered":"American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage by Bill Taylor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Marriage Under Threat: American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage (successful-marriage.blogspot.com)<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30, 2021<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In the early 1980s, I gave our church teens a strong warning about the risks of American-style dating which was becoming more and more dangerous to Christian morality.  Up until the 1960s, men and women truly<\/em> needed each other.  Women aren\u2019t strong enough to farm or to hunt without modern machinery; the only way a woman could survive was by persuading a man to feed her.  Marriage was a matter of life and death<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Guiding a house was a lot of work.  It did a farmer no good to raise a crop unless he had a wife who could turn his harvest into edible food and a hunter needed a wife to turn whatever animals he killed into something edible and turn the skins into clothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women worked hard<\/em>.  There was wash day<\/em> and baking day<\/em> when they did all of that activity for an entire week.  It wasn\u2019t possible to dry bed sheets during cold winters, so the wife had to wash and stash an entire winter\u2019s worth of clean sheets before snow flew.  Wives were so important that a widow often received a marriage proposal or two as they shoveled dirt into her husband\u2019s grave.  Divorce was rare because neither party could survive without the other.  Marriage was a matter of life and death<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As household machinery came along and women could get jobs to support themselves, men and women no longer needed each other to survive.  An unmarried man could buy prepared meals and didn\u2019t need a wife to keep his house or apartment.  Working women could pay their own bills.  This made stable marriages much less important to survival so young people became less careful about dealing with the opposite sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My Asian friends were far more involved in their children’s marriages than my American friends were.  My wife and I sat at a table in Tokyo going over resumes of potential husbands for the youngest daughter.  The family had hired a well-respected marriage broker who interviewed all the parties and circulated resumes as she thought attraction might happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When candidates indicated interest in each other, a date would be arranged.  It was assumed that all parties were seriously<\/em> intending to marry.  It was OK to marry for love if<\/em> your choice came from a well selected list of compatible people.  Modern dating applications claim to do the same thing, but they can\u2019t keep people from lying.  Software can\u2019t copy the wisdom of an aged grandmother whose reputation depends on making good matches.  Arranged marriages are still so common in India that romantic Bollywood comedies about misadventures of marriage brokers are reliable money-makers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asian arranged marriages lasted longer than date-driven American marriages so I warned our teenagers against the dangers of unrestricted dating.  Christian parents were neither warning nor supervising their young people, and morality has gotten considerably worse since then.  We now know that great emotional damage can result when young people come together physically outside marriage.  This makes it difficult for either party to build a strong, God-honoring marriage later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As countries become wealthier and young people move to cities, they rely less on older people to find partners.  Youth-driven marriages fail so often that many young people in Japan and Korea are deciding that relationships are \u201ctoo much trouble\u201d and avoid dating and  marriage entirely.  In the US, educated people aren\u2019t having enough children to replace themselves.  Japanese, Korean, and American cultures are doomed because of a lack of babies.  The future belongs to whomever shows up for it.  A culture dies if there aren\u2019t enough kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Adam lost his comfortable job keeping the Garden of Eden, he had to work hard<\/em> to stay alive:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.  Genesis 3:19<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

God didn\u2019t say how Eve would eat.  From that day, a woman needed a man to feed her in order to stay alive and a man needed a wife to process whatever food he grew or caught.  Marriage was a matter of life and death and children would come when a man and woman got together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God knew that young people would stop wanting children.  Look at what He wrote:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.  I Timothy 5:14<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

At the time the Holy Spirit inspired these words, men and women had exactly two choices \u2013 marry or starve.  That\u2019s why Ruth\u2019s decision to follow Naomi from Moab, where her family would find her another husband, to Israel where Naomi told her she wasn\u2019t likely to marry was such a leap of faith.  If Ruth hadn\u2019t married Boaz, Naomi\u2019s kin would have taken care of Naomi, but Ruth might have starved that winter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God knew that the industrial revolution would bring enough work opportunities that women wouldn\u2019t need to marry.  He also knew that the pill would make it possible for men and women to come together without having children. That\u2019s why He gave that command.  Modern women don\u2019t have<\/em> to marry, and they don\u2019t have<\/em> to have children if they marry, but God commanded that women marry, bear children, and raise them<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To have the best chance to succeed at motherhood, a woman needs a long-term relationship with a man who\u2019ll take the responsibility of caring for her and however many children God gives them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s a lot of work for a man.  When I learned how much<\/em> work our first child brought, I spoke of the work when my grandmother asked me how soon she\u2019d have another great-grandchild.  She gave me a steely look.  \u201cUnderstand this,\u201d she said.  \u201cThe pleasures and joys you get from your wife are God\u2019s way of paying<\/em> you for all the work they bring.\u201d  We had two more children, but she didn\u2019t live to see them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Proverbs 31:1 shows that King Lemuel\u2019s mother taught him how to care for his future wife.  The wife she describes worked day and night (Pr. 31:18), but she worked out of her house.  She didn\u2019t spend her days in an office far from her children.  A modern working mother who commutes to an office or even satisfying a boss via the internet from home doesn\u2019t have enough time or emotional energy to prepare meals from scratch or teach her sons, nor can she teach her daughters about men as God commanded:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4<\/sup>That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5<\/sup>To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.  Titus 2:3-5<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A lot of older women tell me that they don\u2019t know what to say.  To be fair, it took my wife 20 years to find an approach that would get younger women to listen, but those who\u2019ve listened to her and followed her teaching have ended up in sound marriages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The more I think about this long-ago message, the sadder I get at how few listened and how few American Christians are teaching their children how to follow God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage.  I updated this message because I see American-style dating customs spreading to other countries and I want to pass on the warning.  This is what I said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage and Whoredom \u2013 a message for teens<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

One major marriage problem is that many voices tell us that men and women have exactly the same wants and needs.  Christians know that God made \u201cmale and female\u201d so that men and women want very different things from marriage.  It\u2019s hard to overcome all these wrongful messages from popular culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A man who\u2019s listened to the popular culture thinks he\u2019s marrying a soft, curvy man who wants the same thing from marriage he does; a woman thinks she\u2019s marrying an angular woman who wants the same things she does.  Most newlyweds haven\u2019t been taught about marriage, so the differences come as a surprise<\/em>.  People find it hard to give to their spouses because they haven\u2019t been taught enough about the differences to find it easy to figure out what the other wants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When they find out how profoundly<\/em> different men and women are, there\u2019s shock.<\/em>  The man realizes his wife wants something completely different from what he wants.  He is afraid she won\u2019t give him what he wants, so he tries to force her.  The wife finds out her husband wants something different, so she tries to force him to give her what she wants.  This is trouble,<\/em> as each strives to get<\/em> what he or she wants instead of trying to give<\/em> what the other wants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the servant of the Lord must not strive<\/p>\n\n\n\n

; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; and that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.  II Timothy 2:24-26<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Misunderstandings can lead to striving, it\u2019s hard to be meek when you\u2019re afraid you\u2019ve married someone who can\u2019t or won\u2019t give you what you expected.  God\u2019s plan provides for both husband and wife to be so wonderfully satisfied that marriage can give you a taste of the joys of Heaven right here on earth, but both parties must<\/em> handle marriage in God\u2019s way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christians must<\/em> marry with the goal of giving to the other<\/em> instead of getting.  God expects His people to serve Him because we love Him (2 Cor. 5:14).  God expects married people to serve each other out of love.  The Greek word translated \u201clove\u201d is agapao<\/em>, which is not<\/em> an emotion, it is a conscious decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A woman has a God-given duty to choose<\/em> to belong to her husband (Song 2:16), and he has a God-given duty to choose<\/em> to belong to her (Song 6:3) and to dedicate his life to nourishing her and cherishing her (Eph. 5:29).  God expects husbands and wives to serve each other; they serve God by serving as He expects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Buying and Selling Each Other<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

I once heard that the girls in a high school quit talking to the boys.  The boys did something the girls didn\u2019t like, and the girls got together and decided not to talk to the boys until the boys did what the girls wanted.  They were giving the boys the old silent treatment, a common wifely weapon women use to rule their husbands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m told that many<\/em> wives stop talking to their husbands when they get upset.  I ask you, is the silent treatment, that is, not talking to him until he does what you want, the right way to deal with a husband?  Is this OK?  Is this Godly?  Communicating calmly when you\u2019re upset is difficult, but God expects it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But to do good and to communicate forget not<\/p>\n\n\n\n

: for with such sacrifices<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 God is well pleased.  Hebrews 13:16<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this verse, the Greek word speaks of generosity and sharing as well as talking.  Girls, you want your husband to be glad<\/em> to communicate with you, you want him to be glad <\/em>to talk with you and to hold you.  You want him to be glad<\/em> to have you spend all his money making yourself happy, is the \u201cSilent Treatment\u201d the way to make him happy with you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over time, a wife can force a husband to do most anything, she can rule the house if she chooses to rule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adam ate the forbidden fruit because his wife gave it to him (Genesis 3:6).  Abraham ignored God\u2019s promise of an heir by Sarah and got his maidservant Hagar pregnant because his wife wanted children now<\/em>.  Abraham later let Sarah drive Hagar out into the wilderness out of jealousy (Genesis 16:1-6).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Isaac blessed his younger son Jacob instead of his eldest son Esau because his wife fooled him (Genesis 27).  Samson told Delilah the secret of his strength even though she had tried several times to use it against him because she \u201cpressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death\u201d (Judges 16:4-20).  David made Solomon king because his wife asked him to (I Kings 1:16-21).  Solomon\u2019s wives led him into idolatry (I Kings 11:1-8), but he was unhappy with them (Ecc. 7:27-28).  Were these women happy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wife wants her husband to be glad<\/em> to communicate with her, glad<\/em> to support her, glad<\/em> to give her what she wants, and not have to be nagged.  How can you be that kind of wife?  Read the Song of Solomon, Proverbs 31, and pray<\/em> for wisdom how to be a good wife while avoiding bad husbands:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Discretion shall preserve thee<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, understanding shall keep thee: 12<\/sup>To deliver thee from the way of the evil man<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, from the man that speaketh froward things; 13<\/sup>Who leave the paths of uprightness, to walk in the ways of darkness; 14<\/sup>Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the frowardness of the wicked; 15<\/sup>Whose ways are crooked, and they froward in their paths: 16<\/sup>To deliver thee from the strange woman<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; 17<\/sup>Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.  Proverbs 2:11-17<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him.  James 1:5<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

God won\u2019t criticize you for asking how to be a good wife.  God wants you to be wise, but nobody can teach you if you don\u2019t want to learn, not even God deals with a proud spirit.  God resists the proud (James 4:6).  If you earnestly want<\/em> to know, if you humble yourself and ask<\/em>, you\u2019ll get wisdom, God promises<\/em> it.  God wants<\/em> you to be a good wife as a testimony for Him; if you fast and pray for wifely wisdom, God is doubly<\/em> eager to grant your prayer either through the Holy Spirit or by having you meet an older woman, preferably a long-married grandmother who can explain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now I\u2019m going to tell you ladies something from the Bible that\u2019s not popular:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.  \u2026  But the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.  Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man.  I Corinthians 11:3, 8-9<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I get a lot of trouble from Christians when I say this.  Unsaved people, amazingly, admit the truth, unsaved women know<\/em> that they are made for men.  It\u2019s the saved that give me grief.  They tell me that having a woman submit to her husband is old-fashioned, \u201cGod made me just as good as he is, why should I submit to him?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of you ladies will marry and you\u2019ll face this question, to submit, or not to submit?  Listen, ladies, God, who created you in His own image, created you for a man.  He designed you and molded you and made you to be the glory<\/em> of that man.  He intended that your children be taught to rise up and call you blessed, and your husband also (Proverbs 31:28-29).  He wants your husband to praise you and to appreciate you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t you think God wants you to be happy?  Don\u2019t you think you\u2019ll be happier if you\u2019re the glory of your husband than if you try to stay independent?  If you trust God for salvation, can\u2019t you trust Him to order your marriage?  God expects you to belong to your husband.  Is God good for you, or is God not good for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God made men very possessive.  If you belong to your husband by following the advice the wife\u2019s mother received (Song 8:3), your happiness will belong to him.  He will find that making you happy makes him happier than anything he could do for himself.  That\u2019s the only way to give your children a father in the sense of a man who cares deeply about helping them grow up.  No matter what a man knows in his head about the birds and the bees, men don\u2019t really believe they have anything to do with making babies.  The baby is clearly yours \u2013 you had it last \u2013 but what has it to do with him?  If you\u2019re his, however, your children are also his.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men, your wants are simpler than a woman\u2019s, you want a wife who\u2019s proud<\/em> to be yours and eager<\/em> to be yours, it\u2019s that simple.  The problem is that women are often proud to be with their husbands, proud to walk beside him, proud to have his arm around her, but that is not<\/em> what a man means by having his wife be his.  Men and women have very<\/em> different ideas what marriage is about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men can force women to do things, but you don\u2019t want to force your wife to be yours, you want her to be happy <\/em>to be yours, you want her to delight<\/em> in being yours, you want her to rejoice<\/em> when you take her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now I\u2019m going to tell you men something from the Bible that\u2019s not politically correct:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23<\/sup>For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24<\/sup>Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing<\/p>\n\n\n\n

. 25<\/sup>Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

; 26<\/sup>That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27<\/sup>That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28<\/sup>So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself<\/p>\n\n\n\n

. 29<\/sup>For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30<\/sup>For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31<\/sup>For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32<\/sup>This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33<\/sup>Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Ephesians 5:22-33<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even the lost know a man should die for his wife when the time comes.  Even the unsaved cry, \u201cWomen and children first\u201d when a ship sinks and people make for lifeboats, but God rarely wants you to die<\/em> for your wife, He wants you to live<\/em> for her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God wants me to use my authority over my wife to her benefit, to lead her by serving her (Mk. 9:35, 10:44), to make her a glorious wife, as Christ uses His authority to benefit the church, to make it a glorious church.  What God has in mind, men, is that you\u2019ll sacrifice your life daily<\/em> for your wife, caring for her, nurturing her, sacrificially letting her spend all your money building her house, every day<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can you be that kind of man?  Read the Bible, pray, ask for wisdom to be the husband God intended you to be, and hope God sends you an older woman<\/em> who can teach as Mrs. Lemuel taught her son (Pr. 31:1).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Message<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m going to give you an inductive message.  When I heard that all the girls in a high school stopped talking to the boys, a message popped into my head, just like that, but it\u2019s an inductive message.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In deductive messages, I state the conclusion, then offer proof, that\u2019s best for noncontroversial messages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In inductive messages, I state facts that link together, you\u2019ll see the final conclusion before we get there.  Seeing it yourself helps you remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With respect to the silent treatment, it doesn\u2019t matter if the girls actually did it or not, the important thing is that they thought of it.  Let me ask you, does your father pay your mother to care for the house?  Does he pay your mother to raise you?  Why does she do it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the tricks of an inductive message is that you take a sudden, unexpected turn off in another direction and come at the subject from behind.  Here\u2019s the turn in this message.  Why do we give money to the Lord\u2019s work?  Does God need<\/em> our money?  This is a question which heathen find hard to understand.  Are we paying God to do things for us?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My Japanese friends are frank about contributing to temples so god will smile on them and help them.  This is what paganism is<\/em>, it isn\u2019t just worshiping idols, pagans pay<\/em> \u201cgod\u201d to do good things for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s an example from the Bible:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then all the men which knew that their wives had burned incense unto other gods, and all the women that stood by, a great multitude, even all the people that dwelt in the land of Egypt, in Pathros, answered Jeremiah, saying, 16<\/sup>As for the word that thou hast spoken unto us in the name of the LORD, we will not hearken unto thee. 17<\/sup>But we will certainly do whatsoever thing goeth forth out of our own mouth, to burn incense unto the queen of heaven, and to pour out drink offerings unto her, as we have done, we, and our fathers, our kings, and our princes, in the cities of Judah, and in the streets of Jerusalem: for then had we plenty of victuals, and were well, and saw no evil<\/p>\n\n\n\n

. 18<\/sup>But since we left off to burn incense to the queen of heaven, and to pour out drink offerings unto her, we have wanted all things, and have been consumed by the sword and by the famine.  Jeremiah 44:15-18<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is how paganism works, it\u2019s a purely<\/em> business transaction.  You pay the queen of heaven and she does something nice for you, you don\u2019t pay her, and she doesn\u2019t.  Pay cash in advance; a pure business arrangement.  The more you pay, the more blessings you get.  In America, this is known as the \u201cProsperity Gospel.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People would rather be saved by works; people would rather buy god\u2019s favor than receive freely of God\u2019s grace.  Jesus\u2019 teaching about the widow with the two mites was astounding<\/em> because nobody ever<\/em> thought God cared about people who couldn\u2019t pay big bucks<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do we give to the Lord to earn his favor?  No, there\u2019s a hymn, \u201cWe give thee but thine own, what `ere the gift may be, all that we have is thine alone, a trust, Oh Lord, from thee.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s the difference?  My Japanese friends go to their Buddhist temples and drop money in the box, we go to church and drop money in the plate.  How can you tell the difference?  How can you tell if someone\u2019s giving or getting?  You can\u2019t, it\u2019s hidden in the heart!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The heart is the key<\/em> difference between idolatry and faith; the heathen pay their gods to do favors, the more they pay, the more god likes them.  We belong to God, and give to further His work out of gratitude, out of a sense of cooperation with God, out of a sense of association with God, of being laborers together with God (I Cor. 3:9), of being part of the family of God.  Heathen belong to themselves and rent god\u2019s favors; we belong<\/em> to God and give back part of our substance which He has given us.  It\u2019s belonging to God versus renting favors, it\u2019s a matter of the heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Bible tells us that the Israelites went after other gods.  The passage from Jeremiah tells you they did it and their fathers did it from generation to generation.  What did God say about that?  What did God call their idolatry?  Whoredom!!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And they transgressed against the God of their fathers, and went a whoring<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 after the gods of the people of the land, whom God destroyed before them.  II Chronicles 5:25<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are 19 references to spiritual adultery in the Bible!  19.  That\u2019s a lot!  God must hate it very much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, what does the dictionary say that whoring means?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) A woman who prostitutes herself for hire<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

2) In Biblical use, applied to a corrupt or idolatrous community<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s does \u201cto prostitute\u201d mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) To offer oneself to indiscriminate sexual intercourse, usually for money or other valuables.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But prostitution doesn\u2019t always involve sex:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) To surrender or put to an unworthy purpose, to sell for base gain or hire.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

That is, to sell that which should not be sold or to use something valuable wrongly or in an unworthy way.  That\u2019s whoredom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The people who wrote this dictionary didn\u2019t fully understand idolatry, they thought idolatry meant the worship of idols.  Indeed it does, but idolatry also carries with it the idea that you are separate from god, and that you hire god to do favors by giving to the temple.  We call it \u201cSimony\u201d after Simon who tried to buy the Holy Spirit (Acts 8:18-25).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We Christians give to God because we\u2019re part of God, we\u2019re brethren with Christ, so we give freely as God freely gives us salvation.  It isn\u2019t a \u201cbuying and selling\u201d arrangement because we\u2019re one with God.  You can\u2019t sell yourself anything, you can\u2019t pay yourself to do things because all your money is yours already.  That\u2019s how it is with God, everything we have is His already.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband and wife are not<\/em> supposed to pay one another, they belong<\/em> to one another, they\u2019re one flesh and should freely<\/em> give to one another.  Your father doesn\u2019t pay your mother for keeping the home, nor does she pay him for taking care of her, they give to each other out of love because husband and wife should<\/em> be one in God\u2019s eyes.  You can\u2019t pay yourself.  Marriage is belonging, not hiring or renting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a great deal of whoredom in many marriages.  How did we start?  I mentioned that I heard that the girls decided not to talk to the boys.  The girls said, \u201cWe won\u2019t talk to you, that is, we won\u2019t give our companionship, until you do what we want.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You girls don\u2019t have<\/em> to give your conversation to boys, you aren\u2019t married, so the \u201csilent treatment\u201d at this time is not whoredom, but within marriage, making deals<\/em> with your husband can be whoredom, as surely as the grass is green and the sky is blue.  When you say, \u201cI won\u2019t give you my companionship unless you do what I want,\u201d you\u2019re selling<\/em> companionship which God says you should give freely.  That\u2019s prostitution.  That\u2019s whoredom, just as giving to God in expectation of favors is idolatry.  The whore says to a man, \u201cIf you pay me, I\u2019ll do something nice for you.\u201d  The girls said to the boys, \u201cDo what we want, and we\u2019ll talk nicely to you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not whoredom when unmarried girls do that, but it gives girls practice in playing the whore after they marry by making deals with boys before they marry.  Is that good?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How often, men, have you offered your coat or some food to a young lady, hoping that she\u2019d talk to you, that she\u2019d share her femininity with you?  How often, ladies, have you smiled at a boy, hoping he\u2019d carry your books, hoping he\u2019d share his masculinity with you?  Aren\u2019t you buying and selling your attention?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut,\u201d you\u2019ll say, \u201cwe aren\u2019t serious, we don\u2019t mean anything by it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know you don\u2019t mean anything, that\u2019s the problem.  God disapproves of teasing when you don\u2019t mean it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a mad man who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death, 19<\/sup>So is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?  Proverbs 26:18-19<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

God says that sort of teasing is as bad as throwing arrows, fire, and death<\/em>!  You see, you can\u2019t<\/em> give your all to each other, you aren\u2019t married, so you swap bits and pieces of yourselves.  I know you think whoredom and prostitution apply only to sex, but they also apply to anything that should not be sold<\/em>.  Men and women are not<\/em> to be sold to one another, you\u2019re to give of yourselves freely in marriage.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, 11<\/sup>And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; 12<\/sup>Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; 13<\/sup>And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife. 14<\/sup>And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go whither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou hast humbled her.  Deuteronomy 21:10-14<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A wife is not property<\/em> no matter what men may think.  Note that this passage doesn\u2019t use the word \u201cslave,\u201d it calls the captured woman a wife.  Treating<\/em> her as a wife meant that she couldn\u2019t be sold, she wasn\u2019t property, he had to set her free if he didn\u2019t want her any more.  Taking her changed what she was, it set her apart, it humbled her and sanctified her in the eyes of God.  Wives are not<\/em> for buying and selling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Japanese have many words for \u201cwhore.\u201d One translates as \u201cwoman who plays,\u201d that is, an unserious woman who plays at having fun instead of working for joy.  Another translates as \u201cwoman who sells her flower.\u201d  Even the heathen know a woman\u2019s flower, that is, her purity, is not<\/em> to be sold, but to be given freely in love and devotion to her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s commercial calculation in dating.  A girl may say, \u201cI don\u2019t like him much, but he\u2019ll take me to a movie I want to see,\u201d and go out with him because he met her price.  A man may say, \u201cI don\u2019t like her, but she\u2019ll go to McDonalds.  I can afford that,\u201d and take her out because she met his price.  I\u2019ve heard girls say, \u201cI won\u2019t go out with a guy unless he has a cool car.\u201d  Proverbs 31:10 says that a virtuous woman\u2019s price is far<\/em> above rubies, how can a girl settle for a mere car?  Her price should be his<\/em> life for her<\/em> life until one of you dies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you don\u2019t think boys and girls think like that, guess again.  Buying and selling yourselves, that is, whoredom, is an essential element of most dating behavior, that is, boys and girls getting together when they aren\u2019t thinking about marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some colleges restrict dating to sitting together at functions you\u2019d go to anyway, they want to be sure<\/em> there\u2019s no buying and selling between men and women that builds the habit of whoredom in dating and later on in marriage.  That\u2019s not good for you, is it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not only that, when you date, all that can happen is for you to break up.  Ladies, young guys aren\u2019t ready to marry you, they\u2019ll be good husband material some day, but right now, they aren\u2019t ready to marry anyone, nor would you want to marry any of them as they are now.  What can one of these guys do if you hang out together and start to get involved with one another, as you surely will?  All he can do is dump you, what else can he do, he can\u2019t marry you?  You\u2019d rather fall into sin or that you marry when you\u2019re far too young to take on the responsibility?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.  Psalm 27:14<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re dumped, it doesn\u2019t always mean dislike.  My cousin was dating a college guy she liked.  He dumped her, she was so upset<\/em> she left the country and taught English in China for 3 years.  When she got back, he called her up and bought her dinner.  Turns out, he\u2019d fallen in love with her, but he wasn\u2019t through college, he couldn\u2019t support her, there was no way he could give himself to her in Godly marriage.  He knew he\u2019d better not see her at all lest they be tempted, so he \u201cdumped\u201d her, reasoning that if God intended her for him, she\u2019d wait until he could give himself to her fully.  They are married, and happily so, because he had the strength<\/em> to rule their relationship, slowing it down when it was going too fast, but claiming her as soon as he could honorably take her to wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Breaking up for any reason is hard to do, but dating teaches you that it can be done.  Breaking up dating relationships gives you practice for breaking up your marriage.  Is that good for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now you know where I was going, I think.  What was I leading up to?  (Is dating bad for you?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re right, but if I had said dating was bad for you up front, that it sets you up for whoredom and divorce, you\u2019d have closed your minds, that\u2019s why I did it inductively.  Some of you refer to \u201cthat `no fun\u2019 sermon\u201d when I urged you not to spend so much time having fun that you didn\u2019t have time to get ready for joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of you think I\u2019m mean because I didn\u2019t let my sons have fun.  They did have fun, it\u2019s just that their fun was directed toward future joy.  They worked practicing the piano, but that prepares them to serve the Lord.  I know you think I\u2019m being mean to you, but was I mean to my son Benjamin because I wouldn\u2019t let him play in the street?  He really wanted to run out where all the action is.  Was I mean not to let him run out where he could become roadkill?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve agreed that keeping Ben out of the street is not mean because you know enough about traffic to know he could be killed, but you don\u2019t know enough about dating to know how badly you can get hurt.  Haven\u2019t you seen enough of your friends get dumped not to want those scars on your heart?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Any whiplash of the heart you suffer while dating makes it hard for you to give yourself fully to whomever you marry.  And what if you hold back in marriage?  You can\u2019t fool your husband or wife, they\u2019ll see you\u2019re holding back, and start holding back.  You\u2019ll see them hold back, and hold back more.  And down you go!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you spend your teen years practicing whoredom by buying and selling each other in dating, how can you switch overnight to a loving, giving relationship just because you said some words in front of a church?  You can\u2019t.  Accepting salvation makes you a new creature, marriage vows don\u2019t.  That is why I urge you to avoid dating until you\u2019re old enough that it might be practical to think of marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut,\u201d you say, \u201cHow can we get to know what the other sex is like without dating?\u201d  Through teen activities.  In an activity, one\u2019s the treasurer and another counts the money, those jobs can be done equally well by either sex.  You can learn what the other sex is like by working with them in nonsexual situations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dating is sexual by definition-when a boy pairs up with a girl, the most important thing about her is her sex, that is, that she\u2019s a girl!  When a girl links up with a boy, the most important thing about him is his sex, that he\u2019s a boy!  Dating is sexual and swapping bits and pieces of your sex with each other outside marriage is whoredom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t want anyone<\/em> playing the whore before marriage.  I don\u2019t want my sons to teach my daughters-in-law to play the whore after marriage.  I want my sons to marry women whose hearts have not been damaged by ill-advised dating, who are prepared to give of themselves to my sons in marriage, so that my sons can give freely of themselves to their wives.  For only in mutual giving can you build a strong, godly marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s the real harm of dating-the fun of dating teaches you to break up, it teaches you to play the whore, so that you have no foundation for the joys of godly marriage.  Call this the \u201c`no dating\u2019 sermon\u201d if you want, but I\u2019m sincerely<\/em> trying to open my heart to you, so that you can have as happy a marriage as my wife and I, so you can avoid the pitfalls that damage so many marriages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage works when the husband treats his wife as God\u2019s gift to him and she acts like God\u2019s gift to him, but giving yourselves to each other is hard to do when you\u2019ve spent years and years buying and selling yourselves.  God expects you to marry to give, not to get.  God expects you to serve Him by serving each other after you marry.  Nothing less works as God planned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

POSTED BY BILL TAYLOR AT 7:24 PM<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Marriage Under Threat: American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage (successful-marriage.blogspot.com) WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30, 2021 American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage In the early 1980s, I gave our church teens a strong warning about the risks of American-style dating which was becoming more and more dangerous to Christian morality.  Up…
Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family"],"yoast_head":"\nAmerican Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage by Bill Taylor - Earnestly Contend For The Faith Jude 3<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage by Bill Taylor - Earnestly Contend For The Faith Jude 3\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Marriage Under Threat: American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage (successful-marriage.blogspot.com) WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30, 2021 American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage In the early 1980s, I gave our church teens a strong warning about the risks of American-style dating which was becoming more and more dangerous to Christian morality.  Up… Read more\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2022\/06\/19\/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods-simple-plan-of-marriage-by-bill-taylor\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Earnestly Contend For The Faith Jude 3\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/230380461031046\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-06-19T17:56:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-06-19T17:56:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Roger Fulk\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Roger Fulk\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"35 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2022\/06\/19\/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods-simple-plan-of-marriage-by-bill-taylor\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2022\/06\/19\/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods-simple-plan-of-marriage-by-bill-taylor\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Roger Fulk\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/#\/schema\/person\/2c3417c2d65df06db0da74c8e9b11990\"},\"headline\":\"American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage by Bill Taylor\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-06-19T17:56:38+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-06-19T17:56:40+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2022\/06\/19\/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods-simple-plan-of-marriage-by-bill-taylor\/\"},\"wordCount\":7024,\"commentCount\":0,\"articleSection\":[\"Family\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2022\/06\/19\/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods-simple-plan-of-marriage-by-bill-taylor\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2022\/06\/19\/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods-simple-plan-of-marriage-by-bill-taylor\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2022\/06\/19\/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods-simple-plan-of-marriage-by-bill-taylor\/\",\"name\":\"American Dating Culture Destroys God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage by Bill Taylor - 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