{"id":11867,"date":"2023-03-10T13:51:13","date_gmt":"2023-03-10T18:51:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/?p=11867"},"modified":"2023-03-10T13:54:34","modified_gmt":"2023-03-10T18:54:34","slug":"the-root-cause-of-marriage-difficulties-lies-in-the-difference-between-head-knowledge-and-heart-knowledge-by-bill-taylor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2023\/03\/10\/the-root-cause-of-marriage-difficulties-lies-in-the-difference-between-head-knowledge-and-heart-knowledge-by-bill-taylor\/","title":{"rendered":"The root cause of marriage difficulties lies in the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. by Bill Taylor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The root cause of marriage difficulties lies in the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. by Bill Taylor<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n


Bill Taylor<\/a>The root cause of marriage difficulties lies in the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. Head knowledge is what we know (2 Tim. 3:7); heart knowledge is what we are (Pr. 27:3). Most Christians have important head knowledge about\u00a0marriage that hasn\u2019t made its way into their hearts:https:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/…\/god…<\/a>A woman needs to KNOW how a man feels about women in general and about her in particular in his heart. The most basic test is to ask who misquoted God:https:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/…\/what-drove…<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE KEY TO MARRIAGE: IS GOD REALLY GOOD?  CHRISTIANS SAY GOD IS GOOD; DO THEY BELIEVE IT?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Matthew 15:8<\/strong> see also <\/em>Mark 7:6, Isaiah 29:13<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Delilah said, \u201cHow canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me (Jud. 16:15)?  Same thing!  How many men honor their wives with their lips without opening their hearts to them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Head knowledge is what we know<\/em> (2 Tim. 3:7); heart knowledge is what we are<\/em> (Pr. 27:3).  Christians say<\/em> God is good, but the way they act shows that their head knowledge hasn\u2019t made it down to their hearts.  God\u2019s creation \u201cwas very good (Ge. 1:31).\u201d  Ge. 2 and 3 expand on the creation of mankind.  The only thing that was not good was the man being alone (Ge. 2:18).  Forming Eve completed<\/em> God\u2019s very good<\/em> creation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men complain about women instead of thanking God for marriage.  Men say wives are too emotional and talk too much.  The Bible says that a wife is a favor from God (Pr. 18:22) and that God gives good and perfect gifts (Jas. 1:17).  A wife is a good and perfect gift from God to her husband.  Do you believe<\/em> that?  If a man can\u2019t see that the way God made his wife blesses him, that\u2019s his<\/em> problem, not God\u2019s.  Pray for wisdom!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christians who truly<\/em> believe that God is good know<\/em> that God made men and women to give each other great joy.  Others say<\/em> God is good with their lips.  They don\u2019t believe it in their hearts so they complain about differences between men and women instead of being grateful for the differences that make marriage work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bride and groom want their marriage to overflow with joy.  God is party to their marriage vows (Mal. 2:14), He<\/em> wants Christian marriages to be so wonderful that we shine a bright light to the lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Few Christian marriages work out as well as God planned.  Given that all parties want it to be good, when a marriage isn\u2019t good, something went wrong<\/em> and something must change<\/em>.  It\u2019s insane<\/em> to keep doing the same things you\u2019re doing and expect marriage to get better.  The man<\/em> is the leader, so fixing it is on him<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A man may have head knowledge about pregnancy, but deep in his heart, a man doesn’t believe he has anything to do with making babies.  A baby belongs to the mother, of course – she had it last – but what has her<\/em> baby to do with him<\/em>?  Remember the old saying: \u201cThe time my father got me, his mind was not on me<\/em>.\u201d  What was your father thinking when you<\/em> happened?  Was he thinking at all?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men have head knowledge that Adam caused the fall<\/a>, but instead of accepting responsibility for leading, men follow Adam and blame wives when things go wrong.  Instead of serving as Jesus commanded (Mk. 9:35, 10:42-45), many husbands command without discussion.  Moses warned<\/em> that the Jews would lose everything unless they loved God with grateful hearts<\/em> and gave thanks for everything<\/em> He gave them:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because thou servedst not the LORD thy God with joyfulness<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, and with gladness of heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, for the abundance of all things<\/p>\n\n\n\n

; 48<\/sup>Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the LORD shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things<\/p>\n\n\n\n

: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, until he have destroyed thee<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Deuteronomy 28:47-48<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

God\u2019s people didn\u2019t thank God so He took the blessings away.  A wife can\u2019t comfort her husband and bless him as God planned unless she<\/em> fees appreciated and loved as much as he loves God<\/a>.  Your wife can\u2019t bless you fully<\/em> unless you love her with everything you have<\/em>.  God told us about women to make marriage easier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THINK ABOUT EVE\u2019S LIFE IN THE GARDEN<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

She didn\u2019t need a house because it never rained (Ge. 2:6).  They were naked; she didn\u2019t need clothes (Ge. 2:25).  She could always find fruit to eat (Ge. 3:2).  What happened after the fall?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unto the woman he [God] said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.  Genesis 3:16<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

God told Eve about herself and explained what would happen to her and to her daughters:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Greatly Multiply thy Sorrow<\/a> Through Sensitive Emotions<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Most women have more sensitive emotions than men.  Being sensitive helps women learn how to please husbands, but God multiplies sorrow to women because their feelings are easily hurt.  The Bible says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every wise woman buildeth her house:  Proverbs 14:1a<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A woman\u2019s emotions are the cement that builds her house.  There\u2019s no logical<\/em> reason for a wife to pour her life into serving her family and building her house, women do this on emotion.  Men, would you like to be married to you?  Could you do what your wife does in your home?  Think: how can women do what they do?  Women build homes and churches through love and emotion, but they can\u2019t build home or church unless they\u2019re free to express<\/em> their emotions and are appreciated when they do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God punished Eve by giving women a strong emotional desire to please men (1 Cor. 7:34).  Husbands rule though praise: women do more of what\u2019s praised if they aren\u2019t criticized.  If all they get is criticism, they\u2019ll do more of what\u2019s criticized the most.  God put strong emotions in women on purpose,<\/em> it was not<\/em> an accident:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

a prudent wife is from the LORD.  Proverbs 19:14b<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPrudence\u201d means thinking ahead; the way a woman\u2019s mind works, that is, her prudence, is of the Lord.  God made women think the way they do on purpose.<\/em>  The mixture of logic and emotion which God gives each woman makes her want to serve her family and build her home, asking only praise in return (Pro. 31:28b-29).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.  Proverbs 12:18<\/strong><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Keep your words to your wife healthful for her<\/em>.  Just before our wedding, my wife asked that I never fuss at her.  \u201cI want to love you very much,\u201d she said.  \u201cThe more I love you, the more criticism hurts.  I won\u2019t be able to love you as much as I want to love you if you hurt me.\u201d  That made sense \u2013 the Bible speaks of women as \u201ctender and delicate.\u201d  I don\u2019t want to make it hard for her to love me, so I watch what I say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thy Desire shall be to thy Husband<\/a><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

A woman desires<\/em> to belong to a man whom she can please by making him happy with her mating instinct toward him (Song 8:3) just as a man desires to have a woman belong to him (Song 7:10).  Men should treat their wives as precious, undeserved gifts from God who made women want<\/em> to hang around with men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He Shall Rule Over Thee<\/a><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Belonging to a man and following him should<\/em> bring his wife joy (Ecc. 9:9, Song 1:2, 2:16, 6:3, 7:10, 8:3).  She can\u2019t make him any happier than he makes her.  How happy does he want to be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You know my wife\u2019s simple \u201c5 times\u201d rule for keeping husbands happy.  There’s no simple way for a man to keep a wife happy because women differ much more from each other than men do.  Men and women have the same need for belonging, but they express it differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You want your wife to open her body to you.  She wants you to open your heart to her.  You want to put yourself into her body.  She wants to put herself, that is, her words, her thoughts, her feelings, into your heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You leave your seed inside her body where it affects her mood and can give her a baby.  She wants to leave her essence, her being, in your heart where it affects your thinking about her, how you treat her, and how you relate to everyone else.  People can see if you belong to each other by looking at you or hearing you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband and wife should be \u201cone flesh\u201d as Adam and Eve were before God separated Eve from Adam\u2019s body (Mk. 10:8).  A woman at work tried to attract me.  \u201cI was angry when you didn\u2019t even notice,\u201d she told me.  \u201cThen I realized, \u2018Oh, he belongs to his wife\u2019 and I went after someone else.\u201d  Another woman read some of our material.  \u201cI was angry at how much you knew about me,\u201d she said.  \u201cThen I realized you\u2019re clueless, your wife<\/em> told you how women think.\u201d  I had to understand<\/em> what my wife said in my heart<\/em> so I could write about it.  You need hours and days of back-and-forth talk or you can\u2019t be one as Jesus expects (Mt. 19:6).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wife wants her husband to open his heart to her at least<\/em> as often as he takes her and often more.  That\u2019s how he gets knowledge of her as God expects (1 Pe. 3:7).  If he opens himself as sincerely, as deeply, as patiently, as often, and as gladly as he expects her to open herself to him, he will belong to her.  Belonging to each other as taught in the Song (2:16, 6:3) gives them both a taste of the joys of Heaven, right here on earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women open their hearts to each other all the time; they don\u2019t understand how scary it is for a man.  1 Cor. 11:9 says that women are made for men.  Men aren\u2019t taught how scary it is for women to belong to men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHAT DO WOMEN DESIRE FROM HUSBANDS?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread (Ge. 3:19).\u201d[1]<\/a>  God gave no way for Eve to eat.  As Naomi told her daughters goodbye when sending them back to their families to find husbands, she prayed:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The LORD grant you that ye may find rest<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, each of you in the house of her husband.  Ruth 1:9<\/strong>a<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women aren\u2019t strong enough to hunt or farm without machinery.  In a muscle-powered society with no welfare system, wives depend on husbands for food.  Naomi wanted Ruth and Orpha to have food, clothing, and shelter, of course, but she also<\/em> wanted them to find comfort, rest, contentment, and security in constant reminders that their husbands valued and appreciated them as taught in the Song of Solomon.  A woman desires that her husband like<\/em> feeding, clothing, and housing her and her children (I Tim. 5:8).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Watching any couple shows whether she\u2019s resting<\/em> in her husband.  Many women get this instead:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he<\/p>\n\n\n\n

: Eat and drink<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Proverbs 23:7<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A man can say<\/em> he loves a woman and feed her without giving his heart.  God has the same problem:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.  Matthew 15:8<\/strong> see also <\/em>Isaiah 29:13, Mark 7:6<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Naomi wanted each daughter to find a husband who poured his heart into nourishing and cherishing.  God isn\u2019t the only one who appreciates a cheerful giver (2 Cor. 9:7) \u2013 wives also appreciate cheerful giving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29<\/sup>Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30<\/sup>For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.  Matthew 11:28-30<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your wife took on the yoke of pleasing you when you took her to wife.  Do you make it easy for her to learn of you?  That\u2019s a major reason she wants you to open your heart \u2013 learning of you lightens her yoke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women share their hearts all the time in helping other women bear the burdens of husbands, children, and guiding houses (1 Tim. 5:14).  They must be taught that it\u2019s as frightening for a man to open his heart as for a woman to open her body.  A man\u2019s emotions are as powerful as a woman\u2019s.  Japanese say \u201cOne hair of a woman’s head pulls more strongly than ten yoke of oxen\u201d and Chinese say that a man in love rides a wild horse.  Many men are afraid<\/em> to open their hearts for fear of being hurt or vexed:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death<\/p>\n\n\n\n

;  Judges 16:16<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotions scare a man.  He may declare<\/em> his love, but may not admit his love to himself.  God says it\u2019s OK:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 of her husband doth safely trust in her<\/p>\n\n\n\n

,   Proverbs 31:11a<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

John 21:15-17 tells us that after His disciples went fishing instead of starting the church, Jesus asked Peter, \u201cDo you love me?\u201d three times<\/em>.  Having created Peter, Jesus knew Peter wouldn\u2019t want to admit<\/em> his love because Peter had seen Jesus\u2019 sorrow when the Jews refused Him and went to Hell.  Jesus didn\u2019t make<\/em> Peter love Jesus \u2013 he already did \u2013 but admitting it to himself<\/em> made him willing to spread the gospel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For if there be first<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 a willing mind, it is accepted according to that a man hath, and not according to that he hath not.  II Corinthians 8:12<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a man isn\u2019t willing to admit<\/em> his love for his wife to himself, he can\u2019t convince her.  Being willing<\/em> to love her and willing<\/em> to learn how to nourish her will make her happy in finding rest in him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Proverbs 30:16 states that an empty womb is never satisfied.  Women desire children.  Having been given children, she desires that their father want<\/em> to stick around and help her raise them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Genesis 24:67 \u201cIsaac brought her into his mother Sarah\u2019s tent\u2026\u201d  A woman desires a place to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Few men understand their wives many<\/em> needs; few women have the words to explain.  Discuss the Bible verses about a woman\u2019s needs<\/a> to see what she thinks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women see the Bible differently from men; her view helps open the mind of God.  My wife saw David and Goliath as a story in human relations!  She saw David\u2019s older brother criticize him for coming to the battle before<\/em> asking why.  He didn\u2019t know David\u2019s father had sent him.  He\u2019d seen Samuel anoint David to be King and trashed him anyway!  He trashed his future king!  How dumb can you get?  I hadn\u2019t seen that.  She helped me see Ruth as a romance story: poverty-stricken widow goes to a strange land to find God, works hard, shows virtue, marries a rich man, and ends in Jesus\u2019 line.  Her 6 rules for finding rest in marriage<\/a> still work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MEN DON\u2019T KNOW WHY WIVES CAN\u2019T GIVE COMFORT<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Few men know that the Bible says four times<\/em> De. 21:14, 22:9 and Ez. 22:10-11 that a man \u201chas humbled\u201d a woman by taking her.  We now know that opening herself triggers hormones that change her brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God wants children to have fathers.  God arranged that a woman wants<\/em> to cling<\/em> to the man who takes her.  Humbling herself by clinging to her husband and serving him gladly helps her children have a father.  The hormones of being humbled make her more sensitive to how he feels about her.  If he\u2019s pleased with her, feeling that<\/em> more strongly comforts her as she sees how much he delights in her.  If she has doubts about his love or feels criticized, being more sensitive to negative feelings will make her not to want to give him his 5 times.  A woman has a thousand ways to avoid her husband\u2019s desire, but it\u2019s generally because she has doubts about his love for her.  She won\u2019t want to feel dependent on a man she who won\u2019t belong to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She can\u2019t follow unless he opens his heart enough for her to know where he\u2019s going.  She can\u2019t obey unless he opens his heart to discuss his wants in detail<\/em>.  Ever had a boss tell you to do something without telling you how, and then got angry when you didn\u2019t do it the way he wanted?  Lots of wives feel that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Opening herself to her husband takes a great deal of emotional energy, and opening his heart to his wife takes a lot of emotional energy.  The Marriage Arch<\/a> shows how to recharge each other\u2019s emotional batteries.  A man wants his wife to yearn to receive his seed; she wants him to yearn to receive her speech.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you want to be happy in marriage, be happy<\/em> enough to convince<\/em> your wife that you\u2019re happy with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage is Simpler than We Think<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Salvation is two words, \u201conly believe (Lk. 7:50).\u201d  God\u2019s rule for a man and woman coming together is three words, \u201conly in marriage.\u201d  Staying<\/em> married is as simple as salvation, its two words, \u201conly praise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nowhere<\/em> in the Bible does a man criticize his wife.  I want my words to be health to my wife so she\u2019ll want to hear me.  I say, \u201cThat didn\u2019t work as well as we<\/em> planned.  What went wrong?  Let\u2019s learn to do better next time.\u201d  I say \u201cwe\u201d because she tries to do everything the way I want it done.  That puts me<\/em> in all she does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you die, people will remember the very last thing<\/em> you said.  Any words which wouldn\u2019t please you as a last memory of you shouldn\u2019t be said.  You can apologize, but you can\u2019t un-say anything, not ever<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was making an appointment.  The young lady saw that I treasured my wife and asked how long we\u2019d been married.  When I told her 52 years, she wanted to know how we did it.  I gave her \u201conly praise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her eyes bugged out.  \u201cThat\u2019s hard<\/em>!\u201d she complained.  \u201cWhat do I do if I\u2019m really<\/em> upset at him?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you an adult, or are you a child?\u201d I asked.  \u201cWe teach little kids not to lose their temper, not to throw angry words at each other by the time they\u2019re 2, age 3 at the latest<\/em>.  If you aren\u2019t grown up enough to keep your temper, are you grown up enough to marry?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. 1<\/sup>Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; Ephesians 4:32-5:1<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Jesus expects us to follow after God.  When God looks on your wife, he sees the purity and perfection of His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ because His blood has washed away her sins.  To follow God, you must look on your wife as God sees her as she reflects the perfection and purity of Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage is<\/em> simple \u2013 \u201cOnly praise,\u201d and follow God by seeing each other, treating each other, and taking about each other as perfect (Song 4:7).  That\u2019s God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage; nothing else works as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Background Information<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

THOU SHALT LOVE THE LORD THY GOD<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The New Testament uses the Greek word agapa\u014d<\/em> to describe God\u2019s love for the world, to describe the love God expects Christians to have for each other, and to describe the love men should have for their wives.  The Greek word phile\u014d<\/em> describes brotherly love which is weaker than agapa\u014d.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eph. 5:25 commands \u201cHusbands, love (agapa\u014d<\/em>) your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it\u201d but, like the command to love God, this goes beyond agapa\u014d<\/em>.  Christ gave His life for the church; a husband is expected to give his life day by day to nourish and cherish his wife in heart and mind.  As with salvation, married love starts with feelings of attraction (ludus,<\/em> eros<\/em>), should deepen to a conscious decision to serve the other (agapa\u014d<\/em>) before marriage, and should mature beyond agapa\u014d<\/em> over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The command \u201clove the Lord thy God\u201d appears 14 times<\/em>!  You should read them all:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.  Deuteronomy 6:5<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Therefore thou shalt love the LORD thy God, and keep his charge, and his statutes, and his judgments, and his commandments, alway.  Deuteronomy 11:1<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

And it shall come to pass, if ye shall hearken diligently unto my commandments which I command you this day, to love the LORD your God, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul, 14<\/sup>That I will give you the rain of your land in his due season, the first rain and the latter rain, that thou mayest gather in thy corn, and thy wine, and thine oil.  Deuteronomy 11:13-14<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

For if ye shall diligently keep all these commandments which I command you, to do them, to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, and to cleave unto him;  Deuteronomy 11:22<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Thou shalt not hearken unto the words of that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams: for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.  Deuteronomy 13:3<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

If thou shalt keep all these commandments to do them, which I command thee this day, to love the LORD thy God, and to walk ever in his ways; then shalt thou add three cities more for thee, beside these three:  Deuteronomy 19:9<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

And the LORD thy God will circumcise thine heart, and the heart of thy seed, to love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, that thou mayest live.  Deuteronomy 30:6<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In that I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.  Deuteronomy 30:16<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them.  Deuteronomy 30:20<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law, which Moses the servant of the LORD charged you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.  Joshua 22:5<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the LORD your God.  Joshua 23:11<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  Matthew 22:37<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.  Mark 12:30<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.  Luke 10:27<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

These verses command us to offer God agapa\u014d<\/em> and much more.  Loving God with your soul is mentioned 8 times, mind 3 times, strength twice, might once, and so on.  We\u2019re to decide in our minds to go beyond agapa\u014d<\/em> and love God and our wives with everything we have!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.  Proverbs 4:23<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.  Proverbs 25:28<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

We must be careful not to let our emotions go where they shouldn\u2019t.  We guard our hearts to avoid involvement in anything that becomes more important than God or with someone who takes too much away from our spouse, but salvation starts as an emotional experience \u2013 \u201cWhat a friend (phile\u014d<\/em>) we have in Jesus.\u201d  It takes time for our reason to accept the joy of salvation (Job 7:17, 15:14, Ps. 8:4, 144:3, He. 2:6) so our mind (agapa\u014d<\/em>) comes along with the rest of our being.   Is your all on the altar of worship and of marriage?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t need<\/em> Greek or Hebrew to learn what God expects you to learn from His Word, but it helps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

EXPLAINING MARRIAGE IN ONE MINUTE<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

You can explain both marriage and salvation in 30 seconds.  Parents spend years getting kids into good colleges but not much time, talent, toil, or treasure teaching them how to have good marriages.  These verses deserve a lot of study.  We don\u2019t expect anyone to drive without being taught, how can we expect good marriages without teaching?  This is a study exercise.  Look up the verses<\/a> and think on them<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nobody deserves salvation; every person is a sinner who deserves to go to Hell (Rom. 3:23, 5:12, 6:23).  If you accept salvation, God gives you the gift of eternal life (Rom. 6:23b).  God doesn\u2019t see your sins, He sees the righteousness and purity of His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (Ps. 103:12, I Cor. 6:11).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accepting God\u2019s offer of grace means that He and His Son see you as perfect (Eph. 5:25-27, Rom. 8:1, 1 Ki. 8:61, 11:4, 15:3, 15:14, 2 Ki. 20:3, 2 Chr. 15:17).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Salvation makes us servants of Jesus Christ (Ps. 100:2, Rom. 1:1, Tit. 1:1).  We belong to God (Jn. 10:29, 1 Cor. 6:19), serve Him out of love (2 Cor. 5:14), and strive to walk in good works as Jesus taught (Eph. 2:10).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God expects us to serve Him by serving spouses, families, and churches (Rom. 12:10, Eph. 4:12, 5:21, 1 Pet. 5:5).  Focus on God through Christ.  What God does is perfect; serving Him by serving your spouse is a perfect calling (Mk. 9:35, 10:44).  Focus your eyes on your perfect God, not<\/em> on fallible people (Phil. 2:1-8).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage in a Half-Minute.  If they\u2019re still listening, you can go on:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eph. 4:31-32 tells us to forgive each other as God forgives.  God forgives completely<\/em>; He forgets our sins (Ps. 103:10-12, Is. 43:25, Heb. 10:17, Eph. 5:25-27).  When God washes away our sins (Heb. 9:14, 10:19-22), what\u2019s left is perfect<\/em> and without condemnation (Rom. 8:1, 15:13).  Eph. 5:1 commands<\/em>, \u201cBe ye therefore followers of God.\u201d  God sees us as perfect, so we must follow God and see our spouses as perfect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s the key to marriage.  Treat your spouse as perfect, praise your spouse as perfect, say your spouse is perfect for you, and thank God for putting you in a perfect marriage (Ps. 68:6).  Marriage prospers if the husband treats<\/em> his wife as God\u2019s perfect gift to him and she acts<\/em> as God\u2019s perfect gift to him (Jas. 1:17).  He\u2019s to love, nourish, cherish, honor, and sanctify her (Eph. 5:29, Song 4:7, 6:9) as perfect, she\u2019s to obey him and submit to him in reverence (Eph. 5:22, 33, Col. 3:18) even though neither of them deserves the other!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage in One Minute.  If they\u2019re still listening, you can go on:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We must love God with perfect hearts.  \u201cLove the Lord thy God\u201d is in the Bible 14 times<\/a><\/em>  (Deu. 6:5, 11:1, 11:13, 11:22, 13:3, 19:9,30:6, 30:16, 30:20, Joshua 22:5, 23:11, Mt. 22:37, Mk. 12:30, Lk. 10:27)!  1 Kings 11:4 and 15:3 speak of David having a perfect heart<\/em> with the Lord his<\/em> God.  David sinned, but he never<\/em> turned from worshiping God to worshiping anything else.  Faithfulness and repentance kept his heart perfect with God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God expects us to keep our hearts perfect with Him and with each other.  We must not let our hearts stray toward anyone else or anything else (Job 31:1, Pr. 25:38, Song of Solomon).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As David was perfectly confident in God and rested in what God gave him, we must learn to rest contentedly in each other and in what God gives us (Ruth 1:9a, Mt. 11:28, Phi. 4:11, 1 Tim. 6:6, Heb. 13:5).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love God by loving your spouse; serve God by serving your spouse, praise God by praising your spouse is simple, but \u201csimple\u201d isn\u2019t \u201ceasy.\u201d  It\u2019s simple to walk from Maine to California \u2013 put one foot in front of the other, repeat \u2018til you get there \u2013 but not easy.  Marriage is a lifetime journey, not a stroll across a continent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Groups of God\u2019s people in a local church should act with hearts as perfect as David\u2019s:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All these men of war, that could keep rank, came with a perfect heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 to Hebron, to make David king over all Israel: and all the rest also of Israel were of one heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 to make David king.  I Chronicles 12:38 *<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The people agreed with one perfect heart that they wanted David as their king.  God gave us one way to relate to Him, that is, with perfect hearts and never<\/em> go after other gods.  Husband and wife must both have perfect hearts with God.  Both must have perfect hearts with each other and never go after anyone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As God graciously gives His salvation to those who earnestly seek Him (De. 4:29), He graciously gives the blessings of marriage to couples who seek Him and enter into Holy Matrimony with one perfect heart.  \u201cHoly\u201d means \u201cset apart to the Lord for His purposes.\u201d  Holy Matrimony doesn\u2019t belong to us, it belongs to God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re not talking about gluten-free, no calorie diet<\/em> matrimony as lost people do, we\u2019re taking the real deal, we\u2019re discussing Holy Matrimony which bride and groom should enter with one perfect heart.  There is no vow in salvation; your marriage vows are the most solemn, binding vows any human can ever utter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we work out God\u2019s salvation in fear and trembling (Phi. 2:12), we work out God\u2019s gift of marriage as we mature, grow, and learn.  David never lost his salvation, but his sins took away his joy:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Restore unto me the joy<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 of thy salvation<\/p>\n\n\n\n

; and uphold me with thy free spirit.  Psalm 51:12<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Salvation belonged to God and not to David.  He knew that God would faithfully restore his joy in God\u2019s salvation once he restored his relationship with God through repentance and confession (1 Jn. 1:9).  Be prepared to confess to one another and forgive one another to restore your joy in God\u2019s marriage (Jas. 5:16).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE LOVE OF GOD<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

My parents persuaded (2 Cor. 5:11) me to accept Christ as my Savior when I was in 2nd<\/sup> grade.  I loved Jesus because He loved me enough (Ro. 5:8) to accept the punishment for my sins \u2013 taking the punishment for my brothers\u2019 sins was hard for me to think about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rev. 13:8 speaks of \u201cthe Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.\u201d  Jesus knew<\/em> Adam would sin before He said \u201clet there be light\u201d to start creation.  Jesus knew<\/em> He would have to die before He created<\/em> Adam, yet He loved all of us enough to create us anyway<\/em>!  What does His love say about the way He ordained marriage?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD:  Isaiah 1:18<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Be logical.  Jesus loved us enough to create us even though He knew He\u2019d have to die to save us from our sins.  Would a God who loved us that much<\/em> create men and women so that we couldn\u2019t build joyous marriages?  Or did a God who loved us enough to die to save us design us so that men and women can find joy in working together to create safe spaces where their children can grow?  Did God put powerful<\/em> drives into men and women to draw us into marriages which will bless us if<\/em> we follow His plan?  Of course!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?  Matthew 7:11<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.  Proverbs 18:22<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

God gives good things if we ask<\/em>.  A wife is a good thing.  We must follow the salvation instructions God put in His Word to go to Heaven.  We must follow His instructions in His Word to have joy in marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GOD DEMONSTRATES HIS LOVE THROUGH WOMEN<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s hard<\/em> to understand how a Holy, perfect God can love wretched sinners like you and me (Ps. 8:4, Heb. 2:6).  God knew that, so He gave us mothers to show<\/em> every one of us how His love works.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mom and Dad taught me what I needed to know to accept Christ as my Savior when I was in 2nd grade.  I loved Jesus because He loved me enough (Ro. 5:8) to accept the punishment for my sins \u2013 taking the punishment for my brothers\u2019 sins was hard for me to think about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was 14 when I saw the difference between how true Christians behave and how fake Christians behave.  I then had to choose<\/em> a side as Joshua and Elijah chose<\/em> (Jos 24:15, 1 Ki. 18:21).  I remember deciding that I really did<\/em> love Jesus, so I couldn\u2019t<\/em> be friends with some of the people in the school.  Every Christian must decide whether to follow the crowd or to stand for Christ (Eze. 22:30).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rev. 13:8 speaks of \u201cthe Lamb slain from the foundation of the world.\u201d  Jesus knew He would have to die before He created Adam<\/em>, yet He loved all of us enough to create us anyway<\/em>!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s hard to understand loving us enough to die for us long<\/em> before we were even born so God shows us by having mothers want to risk death<\/em> to give their children life.  Before modern medicine, a woman had about a 98.5% chance of surviving a pregnancy.  That sounds like death in childbirth was unlikely, but without birth control, women had so many pregnancies that 1 woman in 8 died in childbirth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every<\/em> girl<\/em> knew someone who had died in childbirth.  Every girl<\/em> knew that she<\/em> would walk the valley of the shadow of death for each child (Ge. 35:18, 1 Sam. 4:20), yet women wanted to marry and bear children (Ge.30:1, Lk. 1:25) anyway<\/em>.  Women want children badly enough to risk death; Jesus wanted so badly to create us that He chose certain<\/em> death!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jesus knew He would weep when people He loved wouldn\u2019t accept His offer of salvation (Is. 53:3, Mt. 23:37, Lk. 13:34) and that He would have to die to save us from our sins, yet He created the world which led to my birth anyway<\/em>.  I was born before antibiotics could fight childbed infections.  My mother gladly risked her life to give me life and did it again and again for my brothers.  That\u2019s the woman\u2019s part of Ge. 5:1-2 \u201cin the likeness of God made he him,\u201d when \u201che [that is, God] called their<\/em> name Adam\u201d to include Eve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let your mother know you appreciate her wanting you<\/em> in spite of the peril and pain she\u2019d bear giving birth to you (Pr. 31:28-29) and thank your wife for wanting your children.  Then thank Jesus for creating you in spite of knowing that He would have to die<\/em> to take the punishment for your<\/em> sins (Jn. 15:3).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your mother risked her life to give you life, shed her blood in painful<\/em> labor to birth you, then labored<\/em> to keep you alive; Jesus died to give you more abundant life (Jn. 10:10) followed by life eternal (Mt 25:46, Jn. 4:36, 12:25, 17:3).  Thank them both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What did you do to earn<\/em> Jesus\u2019 giving His life and His blood (He. 9:12, 9:22) to pay the penalty for your sins and my sins?  Nothing.  There is nothing<\/em> we can do to earn salvation (Is. 64:6, Ro. 3:10), it is an undeserved gift of God (Eph. 2:8-9) He died to give us because He loves us (Ez. 33:11, Ro. 5:8).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If someone gave you a gift, would you hand over money to pay for it?  That would refuse the gift.  Trying to get to heaven by being good, being religious, going to church, tithing, doing good deeds, is not only impossible (Ro. 3:11), trying to earn your way into heaven blocks you from accepting Jesus\u2019 offer of salvation from your sins (Gal. 5:4).  You\u2019re trying to pay for a freely-offered gift whose price is far<\/em> more than you could ever<\/em> pay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What did you do to earn<\/em> your mother\u2019s risking her life to give you life and then pouring her life into keeping you alive and teaching you how to behave as an adult?  Nothing.  She risked her life before she knew anything about you.  She gave her life freely based on the emotional drives God put into her and looked forward eagerly to your birth as she felt God forming you within her womb (Is. 49:5).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We know that some mothers harm their children.  Is that what God wanted?  Of course not, this is because of the sin which came into the world when Adam refused to confess his sin and would not ask God to forgive him.  God asked Adam, \u201cHast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat (Ge. 3:11)?\u201d  We Christians know that God has promised to forgive our sins if we confess<\/em>:If we confess our sins<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  1 John 1:9<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

God doesn\u2019t change (Mal. 3:6).  God would have forgiven Adam if he\u2019d confessed.  Instead of admitting his sin, Adam blamed Eve for giving him the fruit and blamed God for giving him Eve!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 gave me of the tree, and I did eat.  Genesis 3:12<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

God told Adam to keep<\/em> the garden (Gen. 2:15), which meant to protect it.  Gen. 3:6 says \u201cshe took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.\u201d  Note two important<\/em> words \u201cwith her!\u201d  People forget that Adam was there with her the entire time<\/em>!  Why<\/em> did he let the serpent deceive his wife?  Why<\/em> didn\u2019t he protect his wife whom God had trusted<\/em> to his care?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be realistic, men, blaming your wives when things go wrong won\u2019t help you any more than it helped Adam, you are<\/em> the leader, so it\u2019s on you<\/em>.  God designed women\u2019s minds and hearts carefully<\/em> so that for the most part, a mother\u2019s love for her<\/em> children illustrates His love for us, His<\/em> children.  Adam\u2019s sin brought so much sin into the world that a few mothers fail to love their children as God planned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve seen mothers reject children when men reject mothers after getting them pregnant without marriage.  Women blame the father even though they wanted children and stopped taking birth control pills without telling him.  Such mothers often reject a child who looks or acts enough like the father to remind her that the child\u2019s father sinned against her by taking her without marriage even though she wanted his baby<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if the father stays with the woman, he may resent the child because in his mind, the mother got herself pregnant by stopping her pills without his agreement.  The mother got a baby, but at what cost?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Psalm 106:15<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In several cases we know, the father accepted later children when he had agreed<\/em> to be a father.  His resentment of his oldest and his acceptance of his younger children are evident to anyone who knows the family even years later<\/em>.  What could we say when relatives asked why kids were treated differently?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God loves fathers, mothers, and children in such cases, but the parents\u2019 violation of His holiness by breaking His rules about sex brings leanness into their souls.  These situations are caused by the birth control pill.  Before the pill, a man knew<\/em> that if he came together with a woman, he\u2019d be a father within a year.  Couples now \u201cplay house\u201d and pretend<\/em> that God doesn\u2019t care that they\u2019re breaking His laws.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman\u2019s on the pill, a man feels she expects<\/em> to have sex, so why not with him?  If she isn\u2019t on the pill, she can say \u201cNo, I\u2019ll get pregnant.  Not unless we\u2019re married, and I won\u2019t marry you unless you grow up and get a job.\u201d  That\u2019s taught in Ge. 24:67.  If a man\u2019s offer to a woman doesn\u2019t include food, clothing, and shelter, it\u2019s not Biblical<\/em>.  If he can\u2019t pay for her, all he can do is play with her and discard her.  God hates that!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God made men possessive to help give children fathers.  If a man has a strong emotional, financial, logical, and psychological connection to a woman, she chooses to belong to him, and encourages and establishes his possessiveness of her as taught in the Song of Solomon before<\/em> she becomes pregnant, her children also belong to him.  If she\u2019s not his, the kids are hers, and she can look after them herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God’s love and God’s salvation are undeserved gifts of God.  Most mothers show how His love works.  We should love Him because He first loved us (Ro. 5:8).  His love should drive us to serve Him as He requires of us (2 Cor. 5:14).  God never bullies us into obedience; He always lets us choose (Joshua 24:25) whether to obey His commands or not.  He yearns<\/em> for obedience (De. 5:29, 30:10), but He never forces us.  The choice is ours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you thanked your mother today for risking her life to give you life and then pouring her life into you?  And thanked Jesus for dying to save you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Apostle Paul wrote that we work to spread the Gospel because our love for Christ \u201cconstraineth us,\u201d that is, makes us do it.  We serve Him because our love for Him makes us want to please Him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the love of Christ constraineth us; II Corinthians 5:14a<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

In the same way, our love for our spouses should<\/em> constrain us to do whatever we can to please him or her.  If lost people see married Christians working to please each other out of love, they\u2019ll often ask how we handle problems the other person causes.  That gives us a chance to talk about God\u2019s love and God\u2019s forgiveness.  God forgives us, so God expects us to forgive other people in the same way He forgave us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GOD TELLS US HOW TO BUILD JOYFUL MARRIAGES<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A bridge built on wrong ideas about steel and concrete will<\/em> fall.<\/em>  Like steel and concrete, women and men have different strengths and weaknesses.  You can push hard on concrete, but it breaks if you pull on it.  You can pull on steel, but pushing makes it bend.  As steel and concrete become one in a reinforced slab which has the strengths of both, the forces God created to hold couples together form a one-flesh unit that stands strong against the pressures of life.  When men and women use God\u2019s forces wrong, their union is weakened.  A marriage based on wrong ideas about men and women will<\/em> suffer or fall<\/em>.  Here are some facts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7      A woman wants babies.  It doesn\u2019t matter what she says, her basic nature comes out if she\u2019s happy with her husband.  If women didn\u2019t want babies, there wouldn\u2019t be any babies given birth control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7      A man wants to throw a woman on his horse, ride off, take<\/em> her, and possess<\/em> her.  He may try to hide his possessiveness, but his basic nature comes out in the end, particularly after they\u2019re married.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women are smaller than men and weaker than men.  The Japanese character for \u201cman\u201d combines the characters for \u201cfield\u201d and \u201cstrength\u201d because a man provides strength in the field.  Japanese \u201cstrength\u201d means to \u201cpress down and control, to get the upper hand.\u201d  God made men strong enough to feed and defend them so women don\u2019t have to be as large or as strong.  Women can stay home instead of going out hunting or farming.  Using less food to feed muscles gives women more energy to make babies and take care of babies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHY GOD MADE MEN AND WOMEN THINK SO DIFFERENTLY<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

God made males and females think differently to help us be fruitful and multiply.  Instead of trusting that a loving God He created us to bless each other, many complain that God made their spouses wrong.  Women complain that men are too possessive, too controlling, and can\u2019t find anything in a refrigerator.  Men complain that women are too emotional and talk too much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Very few people can explain their thought processes.  This short paper<\/a> discusses the different ways male and female brains work to help couples talk about how they think.  Understanding draws them closer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#thinkDifferent\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Discussion Points<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

These Bible verses explain what women desire from their husbands.  Discuss them with your wife.  This will help you dwell according to knowledge of her as God commands (I Pe. 3:7).  In drawing closer to God by discussing His Word, you\u2019ll draw closer to each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Present<\/strong> \u2013 a woman expects him to treat her as a gift from God (Pr. 18:22, Ec. 9:9, I Col. 11:9, Ge. 2:18)
Prayer<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to lead in prayer; prayer brings wisdom (I Thess. 5:17-18, Psalm 127:1, James 1:5)
Provision<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to provide food, clothing, and shelter for her and for her children (I Tim 5:8)
Protection<\/strong> \u2013 she expects protection from his passions, her emotions, and from all external threats (Heb. 13:6)
Procreation<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to appreciate her children as her finest gift to him (Ps 128:3)
Paternity<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to be emotionally, financially, and logically involved in helping her raise her children (Gal. 4:1-2, Pr. 19:18, Pr. 23:13, Eph. 6:4, Heb. 12:7-9)
Pleasure<\/strong> \u2013 she desires physical pleasure from him (Song 1:2, 8:3, Gen. 18:22)  She expects him to enjoy talking with her and to take pleasure in opening his heart to her (Jud. 16:15, Pr. 31:11, I Cor. 7:3)
Praise<\/strong> \u2013 she desires that he appreciate and praise (Pr. 18:22, Pr. 31:28-29) all of her efforts on behalf of her family and she expects him to praise her and appreciate her for helping him
Partnership<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to share the responsibility of educating, cleaning, raising, and guiding her children (Gal 4:2, Ep 6:4).  She expects him to draw on her help to advance his career (Mt. 27:19).
Participation<\/strong> \u2013 she wants to know everything he does, to be involved in all decisions, and to use her gifts to bless him (I Cor. 7:34).
Patience<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to spend as much time as it takes to talk to her enough to know her (I Pe. 3:7)
Peculiarity<\/strong> \u2013 he should know and rejoice in her unique, feminine peculiarities, to delight in how God made her different from all the other women in the world (Pr. 19:14b, 31:28-29, Song 6:9)
Perception<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to understand and appreciate her gifts and to enjoy her unique way of thinking and expressing herself (Pr. 18:22, James 1:17)
Pleased<\/strong> \u2013 she cares deeply<\/em> that he be pleased with her (I Cor. 7:34)
Plan<\/strong> \u2013 he must explain where he\u2019s going clearly so that she can follow him in confidence that she\u2019ll please him (Pr. 29:18).  She can\u2019t follow if she doesn\u2019t know where he\u2019s going; she can\u2019t obey if she doesn\u2019t understand
Persuasion<\/strong> \u2013 she wants him to persuade her (Ro. 14:5b, 14:23b, II Cor. 5:11, Phi. 1:9a) instead of commanding
Part<\/strong> \u2013 she expects to be a vital part of his life, to be the axle on which his wheel of his life turns, to be the tail on his kite, holding him steady as they soar together (I Cor. 11:3, 8-9, Mt. 19:6, Mark 10:8)
Place<\/strong> \u2013 she expects a place to live, a place in his life, and a place in his heart (Gen. 24:67, Ruth 4:12a)
Peer<\/strong> \u2013 she isn\u2019t his peer, she needs him to appreciate the ways she and he are different.  The world says that men and women are the same; the Bible says they are not (Gen 1:27, Matt 19:4, Mark 10:6)
Peace<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to rule her gently (De. 28:56a) so that her heart can find peaceful rest in belonging to him (Ruth 1:9)
Potential<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to fulfil his potential, better himself throughout their married life, and help her better herself to fulfil her<\/em> potential (II Tim. 2:15)
Purity<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to value (Pr. 31:10) and guard her purity both before and after marriage (Heb. 13:4)
Privacy<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to value her thoughts and to keep the secret thoughts of her heart to himself (Pr. 11:13, 20:19)
Perfection<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to treat her as a perfect wife (Son 4:7, James 1:17, Pr. 31:28-29)
Passion<\/strong> \u2013 his desire should be towards her and towards her alone (Song 7:10) and she expects to delight in it (Song 1:2, 8:2-3, Pr. 5:18-19)
Possession<\/strong> \u2013 she expects him to belong to her and she to him (Song 2:16, 6:3, 7:10).  We know how a woman shows that she belongs to her husband.  How does a man convince his wife that he belongs to her?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A man expects the \u201cthree warms,\u201d a warm heart, a warm bed, and warm meals (Ge. 29:21).
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[1]<\/a> In Gen. 3:14, God cursed Satan \u201cabove all cattle, and above every beast of the field.\u201d  In 3:17 God said, \u201ccursed is the ground for thy sake\u201d before telling Adam that he would eat by the sweat of his face.  Although Satan, cattle, beasts, and the ground were cursed, Adam and Eve were not cursed.  By placing Adam\u2019s struggle to find or grow food at the mercy of weather and much else which man can\u2019t control, God reminds us that all<\/em> lives depend on God (Ecc. 5:9).  Before men could pump water out of the ground, farmers needed rain to fill reservoirs or water their crops.  Farmers know<\/em> their dependence on God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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POSTED BY BILL TAYLOR AT 11:32 AM<\/a><\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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