{"id":14666,"date":"2024-01-04T13:16:10","date_gmt":"2024-01-04T18:16:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/?p=14666"},"modified":"2024-01-04T13:20:50","modified_gmt":"2024-01-04T18:20:50","slug":"14666","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2024\/01\/04\/14666\/","title":{"rendered":"HANDLING CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

https:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/?fbclid=IwAR1Lluk3glLzFdypBy1B9RB8PpGqQFjuuzJdjoAhDoVhnl8DXCrOURuU2Qs#_Toc154247281<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HANDLING CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Revival happens when a church gets its act together.  In order for a church to be of \u201cone mind\u201d as God commands (Ro. 15:6, 2 Co. 13:11, Phi. 1:27, 1 Pe. 3:8), husbands and wives must first be of one mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There will be disagreements no matter how well you follow the marriage principles in the Bible, but disagreement should not lead to conflict or heated words.  Conflict has been studied a lot because office conflict costs businesses so much.  Here\u2019s a simple research-based way to avoid conflict in marriage and at work.  It is based on Biblical principles:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#ConflictInMarriage\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHY GOD MADE MEN AND WOMEN THINK SO DIFFERENTLY<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

God made males and females think differently to help us be fruitful and multiply.  Instead of trusting that a loving God He created us to bless each other, many complain that God made their spouses wrong.  Women complain that men are too possessive, too controlling, and can\u2019t find anything in a refrigerator.  Men complain that women are too emotional and talk too much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Very few people can explain their thought processes.  This short paper discusses the different ways male and female brains work to help couples talk about how they think.  Understanding draws them closer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#thinkDifferent\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Psalm 68:6 explains that God loved us enough to put solitary people in families.  If you don\u2019t see how something about your spouse\u2019s basic nature blesses you and your family, that\u2019s your<\/em> problem, not God\u2019s.  It took many years for us to figure out how some of my wife\u2019s characteristics blessed our family, but things got smoother once we saw that God had given us different brains to bless each other out of love for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This note explains another way in which men and women think differently:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/dont-step-in-holes.html#notALight\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHY MARRIAGES FAIL<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve known many couples whose marriages failed.  Most failures were rooted in neither party having been taught what the other person expected.  This paper discusses major areas of ignorance that make marriages fail and suggests ways to help people build solid families and solid churches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/05\/why-marriages-fail.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

People don\u2019t know how to drive cars or balance checkbooks without being taught; why expect anyone to know how to be married without being taught?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE VITAL ROLE OF SEX IN MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Sex is very important to marriage.  By sex, I mean the physical joining of one man and one woman into one flesh.  There are three aspects of sex that concern you: the mechanical or medical aspects; the moral aspects; and the mental, or emotional, aspects of sex.  \u201cHow to\u201d is too simple for a talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sexual morality, that is, \u201cwhen to,\u201d is only 50% more complicated than salvation.  Salvation is two words, \u201conly believe,\u201d that\u2019s all.  God says that sexual morality is three words, \u201conly within marriage.\u201d  The \u201cwhen to\u201d of becoming one flesh is only<\/em> after you\u2019re married, period, no discussion, end of story.<\/em>  There\u2019s a very good reason to obey this command which we\u2019ll explore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That leaves the emotional aspects of sex.  God designed us so that sex has a profound<\/em> impact on our lives.  God made sex drives powerful <\/em>to help couples stay married.  God designed sex to bless us but young people aren\u2019t being taught how to handle sex.  Messing it up brings great <\/em>grief to many couples.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fault in handling sex lies mostly with men.  Women aren\u2019t being taught about men by older women.  This leaves them vulnerable to being damaged by men who go against the Word of God by having sex outside marriage.  God tells us what happens when we go against His will:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And he gave them their request; but sent leanness into their soul.  Psalm 106:15<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

This is another way of saying that we reap what we sow (Gal 6:7).  Men have sown disobedience to God in taking women without marrying; that makes both parties miss the joy God intended for marriage.  This sin brings leanness into a man\u2019s soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/05\/the-vital-role-of-sex-in-marriage.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GOD DEMONSTRATES HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR US AND HIS HOLINESS IN A WAY EVERYONE SEES<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

God Demonstrates His Love in a way Everyone Sees!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s hard to understand how a Holy, perfect God can love wretched sinners like you and me (Ps. 8:4, Heb. 2:6).  God knew it would be hard for us to believe that He loved us enough to die to save us so that we could be cleansed of our sins.  This article explains how He arranged motherhood so that everyone could see an unmistakable example of His unconditional love.  This helps us understand His love for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2023\/02\/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#demonstratesLove\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

God Demonstrates His Holiness in a way Everyone Sees!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some churches preach only the love of God without teaching repentance and turning from sin.  A love-only message is meaningless because it doesn\u2019t define sin or tell people that God hates sin (Ps. 7:11b).  How can people repent and seek forgiveness without being made aware of their sins (Ro. 3:10)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Others preach only God\u2019s holiness and leave out His love.  Leaving out God\u2019s love makes His holiness repugnant because holiness alone is too harsh.  Without knowing God\u2019s love, people cannot feel confident of His care for us (1 Pe. 5:7) or of His promise never to leave us (He. 13:5).  This shows how He shows us His holiness and how it works together which His unconditional love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/04\/god-demonstrates-his-holiness-in-way.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HOW A MAN PROTECTS HIS WIFE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Young men who read this were astounded<\/em> at how differently women feel about how God designed this man-woman thing.  One said, \u201cPlease tell them!\u201d  Older women should do that (Titus 2:4-5), but they aren\u2019t.  This message is intended for men but will also help older women know what to teach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You must earn<\/em> your wife\u2019s trust from the moment you meet her until death<\/em>.  How can she respect, follow, open herself, obey you, honor you, and submit herself to you if she can\u2019t trust you?  She\u2019ll want to know whether you will lead her, and if so, will you lead her gently<\/em>?  Where will you take her?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you blame everything that goes wrong on her as Adam did (Gen. 3:12) or do you<\/em> take responsibility?  God appointed you<\/em> to lead; you must be worthy<\/em> of her following you.  Failure belongs to you, so you must work with her and use her gifts with yours to figure out how to prevent future failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tell young men, \u201cYou must protect your wife from you<\/em>.  God made men bigger and stronger than women, so you<\/em> are the person most likely to hurt your wife by bumping into her or tripping over her.  God gave women more sensitive emotions than He gave men, so you<\/em> are most likely to hurt her feelings by careless talk.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shortly before our wedding, my future wife asked that I never fuss at her.  \u201cI want to love you very much,\u201d she said.  \u201cThe more I love you, the more disapproval will hurt me.  I won\u2019t be able to love you as much as I want<\/em> to love you if you hurt me.\u201d  You can\u2019t un-say something hurtful no matter how you try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe moving finger writes; and, having writ, moves on: nor all thy piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line, nor all thy tears wash out a word of it. — Omar Khayyam.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Many other areas where wives need protection are described in<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#ManProtectsWife\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHAT SHOULD OLDER WOMEN TEACH YOUNGER WOMEN ABOUT MEN?<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The Bible commands older women to teach younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be chaste, keepers at home, good, and obedient to their own husbands (Titus 2:3-4) because they don\u2019t know how<\/em>.  Mothers teach daughters how to cook, clean, and care for houses; they also have to teach how to love husbands and children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My wife tells a young lady that her husband dreams<\/em> of having sex 5 times before breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bed (Gen. 29:21).  God seldom gives him that much strength, but that\u2019s his plan<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even a girl who hasn\u2019t dated knows that she\u2019ll lose her independence and belong to a man if she lets him do that<\/em>.  That sounds scary, but when she realizes that she\u2019ll want him to open his heart to her whenever she wants to talk, which is at least<\/em> that often, she\u2019ll decide it will be OK to belong to him if<\/em> he belongs to her and appreciates her.  If he\u2019s hers, seeing his joy in having her makes her happy.  If he’s not hers, opening herself to him is oppressive and she won’t want to do it (Deu. 21:14, 22:29, Eze. 22:10-11).  The wife in the Song of Solomon agrees that it\u2019s important that her husband belong to her (Song 1:2, 2:16, 6:3).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If she looks up at him at the right time and says, \u201cI like being yours.  We could do that more often if you were in better shape,\u201d she can encourage him to exercise which will help him live longer.  God said it is not good for a man to be alone; God generally arranges for men to die before their wives.  Keeping her husband alive longer shortens her widowhood but takes a lot of emotional energy.  Her husband must appreciate her greatly in order for her to be able to do this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Older Women must show that Scripture <\/a>explains what drives men to marry:<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Genesis 29:21<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men are motivated mainly by sex.  This makes the sexual behavior of women the main force in keeping society going.  Women used to say, “Not unless we’re married, and I won’t marry you unless you grow up and get a job.”  If a man can have sex without working to support his wife, why work at all?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If a woman says she wants to marry but lets a man have her without marrying her, he feels that she’s a liar.  Marriage clearly means nothing to her or she\u2019d insist on it instead of just giving herself.  If she gives herself to him without marriage, how can he trust her not to give herself to someone else?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he already has her, what would marrying her give him that he doesn’t already have?  Men know very little about women; how does a man know whom he should marry?  If he can have her without marriage, she isn’t worth marrying.  If he can’t, he will marry her if he wants her badly enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This explains what older women should teach younger women before they get serious<\/em> about a man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#OlderWomenTeach\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE LESSON OF LEAH \u2013 HAVING A MAN\u2019S BABY WON\u2019T MAKE HIM MARRY YOU<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The Bible makes it extremely<\/em> clear what drives men to marry.  Jacob loved Rachel the moment he saw her (Ge. 29:19) and worked for Laban for 7 years to earn the right to take her to wife:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Genesis<\/strong> 29:21<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jacob wanted Rachel badly enough to work hard to earn the right to marry her.  Why was he willing to do that?  He wanted her that<\/em> badly.  A woman can never understand a man\u2019s physical drive any more than a man can understand how a mother feels about her newborn, but she needs to know<\/em> this about men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Caring for a woman gives meaning to a man\u2019s life; living with her and having her pay \u201cher share\u201d of the rent does not.  Surveys of couples who\u2019re living together show that the women believe they\u2019ll be married \u201cin a year or two,\u201d but that the men don\u2019t think they\u2019ll ever marry.  A woman may get tired of waiting for \u201cnext year\u201d that never comes and decide to have his baby to get him to marry her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having a man\u2019s baby doesn\u2019t make a man love a woman.  When Laban tricked Jacob into marrying Leah instead of Rachel, the Bible tells us that Leah was hated and Rachel was loved.  Leah thought that giving Jacob a son would make him love her.  Genesis 29:30-35<\/strong> shows that by the time her 4th<\/sup> was born, Leah realized that having Jacob\u2019s sons wouldn\u2019t make him love her.  Abraham, father of Jews and Arabs and honored by both, didn\u2019t marry all the women who had his babies:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 from Isaac his son, while he yet lived, eastward, unto the east country.  Genesis 25:6<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Abraham, the Friend of God (2 Chron. 20:7, Isa. 41:8), got at least<\/em> two women pregnant besides his three wives.  Did he marry them?  No, he sent them away (Ge. 24:73).  Having a baby is not<\/em> the way to get a man to marry you.  This article explains what a woman should do to get a man to marry and explains what to do to get herself back to being a treasure if he walks out when she insists:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2023\/02\/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#lessonOfLeah\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE SACRIFICE OF SALVATION AND THE SACRIFICE OF MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

God ordained both salvation and marriage.  IF we try to do salvation our own way, we go to Hell when we die.  If we try to do marriage our own way, we can make life Hell on earth, but if we do it God\u2019s way, we can give each other a taste of Heaven, right here on earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We sacrifice when we deal with anyone else.  If we share an apartment, we give up some of our wants so the other person can share the space.  When we drive, we give up some of the road or we\u2019ll hit other cars.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We sacrifice by giving up not only our former sins when we accept salvation and we give control of our lives to God as we are tempered together with Him (1 Cor. 12:24, Eph. 5:30).  We must align our ambitions and drives with what He wants (2 Cor. 5:14).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage gives up our independent lives.  We must align our ambitions with what God wants and with what our family needs.  We give up control over our lives in marriage as we gave up control to God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We each work out our own<\/em> salvation in fear and trembling (Phil. 2:12) as we are tempered together with Christ (1 Cor. 12:24, Eph. 5:30) and with each other.  We work out our marriages as we and our children are tempered together with each other and with Christ.  The best things in life require sacrifice which means dying to self and taking up His cross to follow Him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neither salvation nor marriage can work as God ordained unless we die<\/em>.  Jesus spoke of being born again, Romans 7 4 speaks of dying to our former lives in order to be \u201cmarried\u201d to Christ.  Jesus said that husband and wife were \u201cno more twain, but one (Mt. 19:6, Mk. 10:8).\u201d  In order to become one as Jesus commanded, each party must die<\/em> to their former lives in favor of the marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This message explains the sacrificial costs of marriage so people won\u2019t be as surprised.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/05\/the-sacrifice-of-salvation-sacrifice-of.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A MAN\u2019S UNBELIEF THAT HARMS MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Many highway bridges follow a pattern.  There\u2019s a steel beam across the road.  The beam rests on concrete pillars.  The deck is a cement slab reinforced by steel rods running through it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Steel and cement are not<\/em> equal.  Steel is strong in tension, you can pull on it, and it won\u2019t break, but if you push on a steel beam, it bends and buckles.  Most of the load is carried as tension in the lower half of the beam.  Concrete comes apart if you pull on it, but concrete holds a lot when you push.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you build a bridge on wrong ideas about steel and concrete, your bridge will<\/em> fall.<\/em>  Like steel and concrete, women and men have different strengths and weaknesses.  As steel and concrete become one in a reinforced slab which has the best characteristics of both materials, the forces which God created to hold couples together result in a one-flesh unit that stands strong against the pressures of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When men and women use these forces improperly, their union is weakened.  A marriage based on wrong ideas about men and women will<\/em> fall<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This message discusses a common non-Biblical idea held by many men which damages marriages:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/a-mans-unbelief-that-harms-marriages.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

A typical man\u2019s attitude toward taking a woman outside marriage is discussed here:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/a-mans-unbelief-that-harms-marriages.html#lightlyLein\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The major doctrinal error is discussed at<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/a-mans-unbelief-that-harms-marriages.html#Gen316\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WOMEN\u2019S SIN THAT CAN DESTROY A NATION<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Many of these articles discuss men\u2019s failures to follow the Word of God in leading their marriages.  We emphasize men because Jesus commanded that men lead their families by serving their wives and children (Mt. 20:25-28, Mk. 9:35, 10:42-45).  Women suffer when men refuse to do that, and the entire family<\/em> benefits greatly<\/em> when a man decides to do marriage God\u2019s way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women share responsibility for marriage failure.  When the Women\u2019s Liberation movement started in America and in Europe, women said that many men were abusing their leadership.  Instead of working to reform the men, women went to war with men.  This has destroyed many families.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of these anti-men teachings have led women into a sin that was condemned by the prophet Ezekiel.  This sin is accelerating the destruction of families in Europe and America.  Churches should take warning and teach everyone to guard against this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/05\/womans-sin-can-destroy-great-nation.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

LOVING OTHERS AS GOD<\/a> LOVES US<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The command \u201clove the Lord thy God\u201d appears 9 times in the Bible, 6 times in the Book of Deuteronomy and once each in Matthew, Mark, and Luke.  It lists \u201cwith all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.\u201d  We\u2019re to love God with everything we have:<\/em> Heart, soul, mind, and strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Bible teaches that God loves the world (Jn. 3:16).  Christians accept God\u2019s love, love Him back, and belong to Him.  Paul spoke of \u201cpersuading\u201d men of the way of salvation (2 Cor. 5:11).  Christianity is a thinking faith, that\u2019s why \u201cmind\u201d is on the list.  Once we accept God\u2019s offer of salvation on a mixture of thought and faith, we turn our hearts over to Him and the rest follows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We express love for God through prayer, valuing His Word, and letting the Holy Spirit lead us to do the good works that God expects of us (Titus 2:14, 3:8).  If we don\u2019t open ourselves to Him, if we don\u2019t desire that He know us, we may be rejected:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22<\/sup>Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23<\/sup>And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you<\/p>\n\n\n\n

: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.  Matthew 7:21-23<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#LovingOthersAsGodLoves\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The way God expects us to relate to Him also works for relationships within marriage.  Please improve the article by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AMERICAN DATING CULTURE DESTROYS GOD\u2019S SIMPLE PLAN OF MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

More than 40 years ago, I warned our church teens about dangers of the American dating culture.  I was familiar with arranged marriages in Asia and knew that marriages were more likely to succeed when young people involved their parents in choosing marriage partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As American culture spreads via the Internet, Japanese young people are deciding that relationships are too much trouble and aren\u2019t marrying at all.  The American dating scene has led to college kids having casual sex which leads to emotional damage and makes it hard for them to enter into God-honoring marriages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The burden of teaching falls mostly on parents, so this paper describes the dangers of the American dating culture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/american-dating-culture-destroys-gods.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

FORGIVENESS IS NOT OPTIONAL FOR CHRISTIANS<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

God planned marriage to illustrate His forgiveness and His grace.  Forgiveness benefits you at least as much as the person you forgive \u2013 you become bitter if you don\u2019t forgive, especially if you don\u2019t forgive your spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article describes two women who forgave monstrous<\/em> crimes.  One spent years chained to a tree in a jungle being tortured by drug dealers, the other watched her sister die in a concentration camp:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#ForgivenessNotOptional\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

If they could channel God\u2019s forgiveness of their sins to forgive the evildoers who sinned against them, so can you.  As lost people see married Christians passing God\u2019s love, grace, and forgiveness back and forth to each other, they\u2019ll want God\u2019s forgiveness for themselves.  That\u2019s how we spread the Gospel.  Please improve the article by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE THEOLOGICAL FOUNDATIONS OF MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This article explains how our convictions about God built up our marriage.  The examples show how understanding God benefits Christians:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2015\/10\/the-theological-foundation-for-marriage.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

God warns Christians not to marry non-Christians.  This paper explains core Christian principles that build marriages, but it seems that very few non-Christians are taught how to follow them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SALVATION AND MARRIAGE USE THE SAME PLAN<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

God gave us a simple plan of salvation.  God knew how much trouble we\u2019d have with His plan of salvation.  He knew we couldn\u2019t handle two different plans, one for salvation and another for marriage, so He made one plan work for both.  This paper shows similarities between marriage and salvation to show that they really do<\/em> follow the same plan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2014\/02\/marriage-and-salvation-use-same-plan.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GOD’S SIMPLE PLAN OF MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Marriage is very simple, but simple doesn\u2019t mean \u201ceasy.\u201d  It\u2019s simple to walk from Maine to California – put one foot in front of the other, repeat until you get there \u2013 but it\u2019s not easy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage really is simple \u2013 you either marry to give or you marry to get.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2004\/12\/gods-simple-plan-of-marriage.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

goes into more detail.. Please improve the article by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

THE HOLINESS OF MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

God commands His people to be holy:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.  I Peter 1:15-16<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

God doesn\u2019t ask the impossible.  We can\u2019t make ourselves holy, but the Bible tells us that Christians are <\/em>holy once we ask Jesus to clean away our sins with His blood (Rev. 1:5, 7:14):<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ.  I Peter 2:5<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2004\/12\/holiness-of-marriage.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

discusses the holiness we should strive to weave into marriages.  Please improve the article by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MARRIAGE SHOULD BLESS BOTH PARTIES<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

One reason there\u2019s so much talk about gay \u201cmarriage\u201d is that many believe that traditional marriage has failed.  The Christian divorce rate is outrageous even though Christians know that God intended that one man and one woman marry for life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When people see that we can\u2019t handle this life, why should they care what we say about the next life?  Divorce wrecks our testimony and dishonors Christ, so it\u2019s important for you to know how to help people fix their marriages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When someone’s lost in the despair of sin, we present “God’s Simple Plan of Salvation” which can turn a life around immediately if people believe it.  Similarly, “God’s Simple Plan of Marriage” can turn a marriage around immediately if people believe and apply it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2004\/12\/marriage-should-bless-both-parties.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

lists many resources which can help you help others repair their marriages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHAT ABOUT DIVORCE?<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Having participated in the pain<\/em> of divorce of kinfolk whom we loved, we didn’t want to talk about divorce but “What about Divorce?” kept coming up.  Divorce is as simple a topic as marriage, salvation, and sexual morality.  Salvation is two words, \u201cOnly believe.\u201d  Sexual morality is three words, \u201cOnly within marriage.\u201d  Marriage is five words, \u201c\u2019Til death do you part.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like most of God\u2019s principles, these are very<\/em> simple to understand but very<\/em> hard to do.  Christians who want to excuse disobedience to Jesus\u2019 clear commands about marriage have many excuses for divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Bible is clear that Christian marriage is permanent<\/em> in the eyes of God.  Jesus told His disciples that everyone would be judged according to how they follow His word:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.  Mark 8:38 <\/strong>see also <\/em>Luke 9:26<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, the same shall judge him in the last day.  John 12:48<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Many American Christians seem to be ashamed of Jesus\u2019 commands about the permanence of marriage \u2013 the Christian divorce rate is nearly the same as among non-Christians.  When lost people see that we can\u2019t handle this life any better than they can, they don\u2019t care what we say about the life to come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This message is rather long because it must outline the many excuses people use to \u201cjustify\u201d ending a marriage and getting together with someone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/what-about-divorce.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHEN A YOUNG MAN <\/a>PURSUES YOUR DAUGHTER, WHAT WILL YOU TELL HIM YOU EXPECT FROM HER HUSBAND?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Pr. 31:1 shows that King Lemuel\u2019s mother<\/em> taught him how to nourish and cherish his future wife.  Working mothers don\u2019t have time to do that so few Christian men know how to bless your daughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#pursuing\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

lists Biblical principles for helping a young man make your daughter happy enough for both of them to receive the joy God intended for both parties when He instituted marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A wife can make her husband no happier than he makes her (Ecc. 9:9).  How happy do you want your son-in-law to be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DISCUSSION POINTS FOR COUPLES<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2004\/12\/discussion-points-for-couples.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

discusses how a man and woman can decide what to do and what not to do while dating.  It lists Bible verses which suggest many things a woman may desire from her husband.  It’s organized as discussion points so that couples can discuss the Bible to figure out whether they should marry and how best to order their lives as they glorify God together after they marry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Please improve it by commenting at the end of the web page.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HUSBANDS LEADING WIVES IN EXPLORING GOD’S PLAN FOR MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This article amplifies Discussion Points for Couples with more verses.  Studying the Bible together is one of the best ways for a couple to draw closer to each other as they draw closer to God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God created men and women with different points of view.  A woman\u2019s brain has more nerves connecting the left and right halves of her brain; a man has more nerves connecting the front of his brain to the back.  The ratio of gray matter to white matter is different in men and in women.  We don\u2019t understand how the brain works well enough to know what this means<\/em>, but it\u2019s obvious that men and women\u2019s brains are different.  It should not surprise us to find out that men and women think differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Honestly exploring how husband and wife have different views of Bible passages enriches both parties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2023\/02\/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#discussionPoints\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

MEN PUSH HARD FOR SEX WHEN WOMEN DON\u2019T SAY \u201cNO!\u201d<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This article uses current events without mentioning the Bible to show the disaster caused by our society\u2019s obsession with pretending that men and women have the same needs and desires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men want women and women want to be wanted.  The both seek joy in coming together.  It isn\u2019t working.  Instead of happiness, they bring each other pain.  A woman dated a famous comedian.  He took her home for sex.  He was astonished to learn how miserable she was \u2013 it never occurred to him that she had any other reason to date!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article suggests a way a woman can explain her desires in a way that ought<\/em> to make a man be interested in her other valuable characteristics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/men-push-hard-for-sex-when-women-dont.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

This note uses a story from Genesis to explain an unsaved man\u2019s attitude toward forced sex:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#lightlyLien\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

WHAT DO WOMEN DESIRE?<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Christians disagree over the meaning of Gen. 3:16:  Some say that a wife desires to serve her husband and make him glad he married her; others say that a wife desires to usurp her husband\u2019s leadership role.  Commentators forget that the Hebrew word translated \u201cdesire\u201d is used when the wife in the Song of Solomon rejoices that \u201chis desire is toward me (Song 7:10)\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/what-do-women-desire.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

goes into detail by building on what the Bible teaches about wives:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.  Proverbs 31:10-12<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.  I Corinthians 7:34b<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

TOY OR TREASURE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There are two ways a girl can interact with a guy: 1) she can be his toy or 2) she can be his treasure.  You’ve seen a little boy play with a truck.  He pushes it this way and that, then, when he gets tired of it, he throws it away and grabs another toy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s hard on girls when boys get tired of them and throw them away.  It is very wrong for a man to toy with a woman, but a lot of women permit this, so boys keep doing it.  Being discarded is hard on women; the book “Unprotected” by Miriam Grossman explains biological reasons why this is so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only type of relationship that makes sense for a woman is a long-term commitment.  This will help you avoid coming across as a toy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2004\/12\/toy-or-treasure.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

THE PERILS OF PREMATURE PERCEPTION AND PROCLAMATION OF PAIRING<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

High school kids sometimes see couples forming when they haven\u2019t.  Playing boy-girl games when you aren’t ready to marry is like playing with matches and gasoline when you don\u2019t want to start a fire.  We told our sons, “When you can’t pay, all you can do is play.”  Women aren\u2019t toys.  Playing before you’re mature enough to take each other seriously can lead to great emotional damage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are only 3 possible outcomes:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1) You can break up.  This will hurt, but it teaches you that breaking up is possible, which lays the foundation for divorce later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2) You can marry before you’re ready.  Mature adults have troubles with the duties and responsibilities of marriage, and it\u2019s far harder on younger people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3) You can get involved physically, which adds to the emotional risk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The teens and early twenties are a time for striving to learn to become productive, responsible adults; it’s not a time to wish you were already grown up.  There are more details here:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2004\/12\/perils-of-premature-proclamation-of.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Any boy can play with a woman; only a man<\/em> can nourish and cherish her as a treasure.  Girls must grow up enough to insist on being treated as treasures and wait<\/em> for the guys to grow up enough to do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHAT EVOLUTION AND HISTORY TEACH ABOUT MARRIAGE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This talk was given at a secular school where mentioning the Bible was forbidden.  The school was so committed to the idea of evolution that no other ideas could be discussed<\/em>.  This paper discusses marriage from an evolutionary point of view, but the answers come out the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t matter what\u2019s politically correct, it doesn\u2019t matter how you\u2019d like<\/em> marriage to be, you have to base your marriage on facts <\/em>about the nature of men and women or your marriage will fall<\/em>.  This gives some facts you can use to persuade people that the Bible is totally realistic about marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2004\/12\/what-evolution-and-history-teach-about.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Most of the class realized that we had been discussing Bible-based marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parents and Churches Must Uphold Marriage<\/a><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Parents and churches didn\u2019t have to teach the permanence of marriage in the past because our society required long-term marriages.  Divorce was extremely difficult until the State of California passed the first no-fault divorce law in 1970.  It\u2019s now easier to get out of a marriage contract than to get out of paying for a refrigerator \u2013 either party can walk out for any reason or for no reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Given that our society no longer supports marriage commitments in any way, churches and parents must teach that Godly marriage vows are important to God, offer the couple a taste of the joys of heaven, and have a profound effect on how well children\u2019s lives turn out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Wedding Wisdom booklet helps parents or older couples teach the simplicity of Christian marriage which gives both parties a taste of the joys of heaven – the Bible explains it in one verse:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/wedding-wisdom-simplicity-of-marriage.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Pastors tell us that they can\u2019t find a good premarital counseling guideline.  Sound Bite Marriage has material to stimulate 4 to 6 hours of discussion of the simplicity of marriage as God defined it.  Salvation is two words, sexuality is 3 words, getting married is 3 words, staying married is 2 words, etc.:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/06\/sound-bite-marriage.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Is What I want to do the Will of God<\/a><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

This article lists Biblical principles for deciding whether what you plan to do is what God would want you to do:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2023\/02\/hear-voice-of-bridegroom-concerning.html#willOfGod\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The Many Ways Jesus Turned the World Upside-Down<\/a><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

The Empty Tomb wasn\u2019t Jesus\u2019 only surprise \u2013 His gospel changed the world so radically that Thessalonican unbelievers complained \u201cThese that have turned the world upside down are come hither also (Acts 17:6)\u201d and started a riot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This short paper lists many radical changes He brought.  This should remind us how to proclaim the world upside-down!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2018\/12\/what-drove-jesus-11-nobodies-to-turn.html#upsideDown\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Please improve the article by commenting on the web site.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

JESUS GENTLY ENCOURAGED THE APOSTLE PETER\u2019S SPIRITUAL GROWTH<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Jesus loved the Apostle Peter and encouraged him over and over in spite of Peter\u2019s many failings.  Peter\u2019s spiritual growth and Jesus\u2019 encouragement tell us how gently Jesus treats us and shows us how we should treat others as they work out their own<\/em> salvation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation<\/em> with fear and trembling.  Philippians 2:12<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Nobody can get to heaven on your or my convictions, each person needs their own.  None of us can get to heaven on Peter\u2019s convictions, but thinking about Jesus\u2019 gentle encouragement to Peter teaches us to be patient as others grow in Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, 25<\/sup>In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;  II Timothy 2:24-25<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/05\/jesus-gently-encouraged-apostle-peters.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

MY FAVORITE EASTER MESSAGE – THE GOSPEL OF JESUS DEATH, RESURRECTION, GRACE, FORGIVENESS, AND SALVATION IN 2 WORDS \u2013 \u201cAND PETER\u201d<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

We can sum up the entire Gospel in just two words \u2013 \u201cand Peter.\u201d  Peter denied Jesus three times and felt terrible.  After His resurrection, Jesus had the angel tell the women to be sure to include Peter in order to draw him back into the group of disciples, AND HE WENT FISHING INSTEAD!  Jesus went and drew him back in.  Jesus wants to draw everyone else in as well, and we get the privilege of telling them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\nhttps:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/2021\/05\/the-gospel-of-jesus-death-resurrection.html\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

What Drove Jesus\u2019 11 Nobodies to Turn the World Upside-down?<\/a><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

Starting with eleven fired-up nobodies (Acts 4:13), Jesus\u2019 gospel turned the world upside-down (Acts 17:6).  Over the next 300 years, half the Roman population converted to Christianity or was sympathetic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u2026 there is neither male nor female<\/p>\n\n\n\n

: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.  Galatians 3:28b<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christianity respects and values women far more than other faiths or cultures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom.  Mark 15:3<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

WhatDroveJesus11NobodiesTurnWorldUpsideDown.doc is available for free from our shared folder:
https:\/\/drive.google.com\/drive\/folders\/1JQV9oEZwRL_H7Whck66UuRGruJQ2nfyk?usp=sharing<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We set the price as low as Amazon would permit – 99 cents on Kindle:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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