{"id":16100,"date":"2024-02-12T19:03:53","date_gmt":"2024-02-13T00:03:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/?p=16100"},"modified":"2024-02-12T19:22:12","modified_gmt":"2024-02-13T00:22:12","slug":"parents-and-churches-must-uphold-marriage-bill-taylor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2024\/02\/12\/parents-and-churches-must-uphold-marriage-bill-taylor\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents and Churches Must Uphold Marriage – Bill Taylor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Sound<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Sound Bite Marriage: Getting married in 3 words, staying married in 2 words<\/a> by Bill and Roberta Taylor<\/a>  | <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parents and Churches Must Uphold Marriage – <\/strong><\/em>Bill Taylor<\/strong><\/em><\/a> <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Parents and churches didn\u2019t have to teach the permanence of marriage in the past because our society required long-term marriages. Divorce was extremely difficult until the State of California passed the first no-fault divorce law in 1970. It\u2019s now easier to get out of a marriage contract than to get out of paying for a refrigerator \u2013 either party can walk out for any reason or for no reason. Given that our society no longer supports marriage commitments in any way, churches and parents must teach that Godly marriage vows are important to God, offer the couple a taste of the joys of heaven, and have a profound effect on how well children\u2019s lives turn out.The Wedding Wisdom booklet helps parents or older couples teach the simplicity of Christian marriage which gives both parties a taste of the joys of heaven – the Bible explains it in one verse:https:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/…\/wedding…<\/a>Pastors tell us that they can\u2019t find a good premarital counseling guideline. Sound Bite Marriage has material to stimulate 4 to 6 hours of discussion of the simplicity of marriage as God defined it. Salvation is two words, sexuality is 3 words, getting married is 3 words, staying married is 2 words, etc.:https:\/\/successful-marriage.blogspot.com\/…\/sound-bite…<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage Under Threat: Sound Bite Marriage (successful-marriage.blogspot.com)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

MARRIAGE UNDER THREAT<\/a><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

THIS SITE CONTAINS PAPERS ABOUT HOW MARRIAGE SHOULD WORK. MARRIAGE IS SIMPLE, BUT NOT EASY. IT’S SIMPLE TO WALK ACROSS A ROOM – JUST PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER. IT’S JUST AS SIMPLE TO WALK FROM MAINE TO CALIFORNIA – KEEP PUTTING ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER – BUT LESS EASY. MARRIAGE IS A LIFETIME JOURNEY, NOT A SHORT STROLL. FEEL FREE TO USE ANY OF THIS MATERIAL IN ANY WAY THAT SERVES HIS CAUSE.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SUCCESSFUL-MARRIAGE.BLOGSPOT.COM Marriage Under Threat: Wedding Wisdom – The Simplicity of Marriage<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage Under Threat: Wedding Wisdom – The Simplicity of Marriage (successful-marriage.blogspot.com)<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sound Bite Marriage – WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30, 2021<\/strong> <\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Feel free to use this material in any way that supports His cause! This post is available as a paperback or Kindle book from our author page https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Bill-and-Roberta-Taylor\/e\/B09DTMSHT8\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clicking any footnote takes you to the scripture verse.  The browser \u201cback\u201d button takes you back to where you were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage is Simpler Than We Think<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

God ordained both salvation and marriage.  If you try to go to Heaven your own way, you go to Hell when you die.  If you try to do marriage your own way, you can make life Hell on earth, but if you do it God\u2019s way, you can give each other a taste of the joys of Heaven, right here on earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The foundation<\/em> of joyful Holy Matrimony is both parties being convinced in their bones<\/em> that God is good<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!  Psalm 107:8, 15, 21, 31<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.  Proverbs 18:22<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The man must believe that everything<\/em> about his wife that irritates him is from God to bless him.  His wife must believe that everything<\/em> about him that drives her crazy is from God to bless her.  If you can\u2019t see how your spouse blesses you, that\u2019s your problem, not God\u2019s.  It may take years of praying for wisdom to see how<\/em> you\u2019re blessed, but the way God made men and women blesses both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll be surprised how simple God-ordained marriage is.  Salvation is 2 words, sexuality is 3, getting married is 3, staying married is 2 words, etc.  You can explain<\/em> salvation and marriage in one minute<\/a>, page 21.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t expect people to drive cars without being taught.  How can we expect marriages to bring joy without teaching young people God\u2019s Simple Plan of Marriage?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Learning what God requires so that you can find joy in marriage is worth great investment in time, thought, toil, and talk<\/em>.  This book will start a couple talking and praying about their expectations so that the joy they find in marriage will shine a light in a lost and dying world.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Table of Contents<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage is Simpler Than We Think. ii<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sound Bite Marriage. 1<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage Summarized. 5<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being Married. 5<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Attitude of Gratitude. 6<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Getting Married. 6<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dwelling According to Knowledge. 7<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Staying Married. 7<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband Leads by Serving. 8<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husband Leads in Appreciation. 8<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

God Speaks to Women. 9<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wife Respects Her Husband and Guides His House. 10<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only Praise. 11<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Never Criticize Your Spouse. 12<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sharing Knowledge when Making Decisions. 13<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meeting Her Needs. 14<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bullet Points. 15<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let Us Reason Together, Saith the Lord. 19<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One Minute Marriage. 21<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love God with Perfect Hearts. 25<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enter Holy Matrimony with One Perfect Heart 26<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thou Shalt Love the Lord Thy God. 35<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

12\/8\/23<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

God\u2019s love for us makes Him want to bless us, but His holiness means that He can\u2019t bless us unless we fear Him and obey Him always<\/em>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever!  Deuteronomy 5:29<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?  Luke 6:46<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

If ye love me, keep my commandments. 21<\/sup>He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.  John 14:15, 21<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. 11<\/sup>These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. 12<\/sup>This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.  John 15:10-12<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23<\/sup>Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.  Galatians 5:22-23<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Following God\u2019s path not only gives us joy in this life, it determines our rewards in the next life:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world. 48<\/sup>He that rejecteth me, and receiveth not my words, hath one that judgeth him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day.  John 12:47-48<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Sound Bite Marriage<\/a><\/h1>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Accepting salvation needs just two words: \u201conly believe (Ro. 10:9[1]<\/sup><\/a>).\u201d  You must choose<\/em> to believe!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        At 3 words, God\u2019s rule for when a man and woman may come together physically is 50% more complex, \u201cOnly in marriage (1 Cor. 7:1-2[2]<\/sup><\/a>).\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Entering Holy Matrimony is three words, \u201cvowing, paying, taking\u201d (Gen. 24:67[3]<\/sup><\/a>, Ru. 4:13a[4]<\/sup><\/a>).\u201d  Boaz and Isaac made public marriage vows before<\/em> taking their wives.  Isaac supplied the tent and Boaz had wealth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Staying married is two words, \u201conly praise<\/a> (p 11).\u201d  Nowhere<\/em> in Scripture does a man criticize his wife.  The Song shows a couple praising every little detail<\/em>.  Marriage works if couples never complain and never throw angry words at each other.  We must rule our tongues (Pr. 25:28[5]<\/sup><\/a>, Jas. 1:26[6]<\/sup><\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Marriage is built on \u201cseed and speech (1 Cor. 7:3-4[7]<\/sup><\/a>, 1 Pe. 3:7[8]<\/sup><\/a>).\u201d  A husband wants to give his wife seed 5 times before breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bed<\/em>.  God doesn\u2019t often give him that much strength, but that\u2019s his plan<\/em> (Ge.29:21[9]<\/sup><\/a>).  She wants him to receive her speech in deep open-hearted talk at least<\/em> that often.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        He enters into her body.  Her words, thoughts, feelings, nature, and knowledge enter his heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Husbands and wives express their hearts desires differently.  Wives communicate heart-to-heart; husbands communicate belly-to-belly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He leaves his seed in her body where it calms her and can give her a baby.  She leaves her essence, her being, in his heart where it affects his thinking about her, how he treats her, and how they relate to others (1 Pe. 3:7[10]<\/sup><\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People can tell whether a couple belongs to each other by watching them or hearing them.  When lost people see a Christian couple sharing God\u2019s love, grace, and forgiveness, they\u2019ll want to share in it!  God honors us by letting us labor together with Him (1 Cor. 3:9 [11]<\/a>) to tell them how to receive His grace for themselves!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She wants to hear him thanking God for creating marriage and thanking her for giving herself to him.  He must show<\/em> (1 Jn. 3:18[12]<\/a>) her she\u2019s important to him and that he\u2019s becoming more and more involved with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He wants her to say, \u201cThat was wonderful, I like belonging to you.  Let\u2019s do that again as soon as you can.\u201d  This encourages him to stay awake and talk for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She wants him to say how much hearing her ideas and thoughts helps him make better decisions.  She should point out that they could do it more often if he was in better shape.  Giving him a motive for exercise helps him live longer and shortens her time of being a widow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He wants her to encourage him to have her when he hasn\u2019t asked; she wants him to want to hear more about her knowledge, ideas, thoughts, and feelings when she hasn\u2019t suggested that they talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a saying, \u201cIf a man loves a woman\u2019s soul, one woman is all he needs, but if he sees only her face or figure, all the women in the world won\u2019t satisfy him (Ecc. 7:28[13]<\/a>).\u201d  He can\u2019t grow to love her soul without spending many, many hours in open-hearted talk with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Couples should be \u201done flesh\u201d as Adam and Eve were before God separated Eve from Adam\u2019s body (Mk. 10:8[14]<\/sup><\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. 5:1<\/sup>Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;  Ephesians 4:32-5:1<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jesus expects us to follow after God.  When God looks on your spouse, He sees the purity and perfection of His Son, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ whose blood washes away all sins (Ps. 103:12[15]<\/sup><\/a>, I Cor. 6:11[16]<\/sup><\/a>).  To follow God, you must look on your spouse and think of a reflection of the perfection and purity of Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

See your spouse as perfect<\/a> (page 21), thank God for a perfect spouse, and speak of your spouse as perfect.  That\u2019s the foundation for a God-honoring marriage:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee.  Proverbs 23:7<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A man can pay his wife\u2019s expenses without giving his heart to her.  Thinking and speaking of her as God\u2019s good and perfect gift to him helps him open his heart to her.  Her working hard to be<\/em> God\u2019s good and perfect gift to him helps the marriage last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marriage <\/a>Summarized<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

The foundation<\/em> of joyful Holy Matrimony is both parties being convinced in their bones<\/em> that God is good<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!  Psalm 107:8, 15, 21, 31<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The husband knows that everything about his wife that irritates him is from God to bless him.  His wife knows that everything about him that drives her crazy is from God to bless her.  It may take years of asking God for wisdom to figure out how<\/em> they\u2019re blessed, but the way our good God made men and women blesses both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.  Proverbs 18:22<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.  Matthew 25:40<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

BEING MARRIED<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her<\/p>\n\n\n\n

: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.  Genesis 24:67<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Isaac supplied the tent.  A man\u2019s proposal to a woman that doesn\u2019t include food, clothing, and shelter isn\u2019t biblical<\/em>.  If a man can\u2019t pay for her, all he can do is play with her.  That never ends well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        She became his wife, not his girlfriend \u2013 they both<\/em> made public marriage vows before<\/em> he took her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Isaac loved Rebekah and then<\/em> he was comforted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God gave every wife the ability to comfort her husband, but giving comfort is emotionally exhausting.  Being convinced<\/em> that he loves her renews her emotional energy so she can keep<\/em> comforting him.  This requires daily and hourly praise and appreciation by both husband and wife<\/em> as taught in the Song of Solomon (Song 1:2[17]<\/sup><\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Because thou servedst not the LORD thy God with joyfulness<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, and with gladness of heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, for the abundance of all things<\/p>\n\n\n\n

; 48<\/sup>Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the LORD shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things<\/p>\n\n\n\n

: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, until he have destroyed thee<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Deuteronomy 28:47-48<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A man limits his wife\u2019s ability to make him happy if he limits his appreciation of everything<\/em> about her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GETTING MARRIED<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Genesis 29:21<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then said she, Sit still, my daughter<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day.  Ruth 3:18<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boaz wasn\u2019t thinking of marriage, but when Ruth gave him the idea, it was such a good<\/em> idea he ran out the very next morning and married her.  Why?  Because he wanted<\/em> her.  If a woman gives a man rest outside marriage, her value falls (Pr. 31:10[18]<\/sup><\/a>).  What would marriage give that he doesn\u2019t have?  Why take on all that responsibility?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men know very little about women; how does a man know whom to marry?  If he can have her without marriage, she isn\u2019t worth dedicating his life to nourishing and cherishing her.  If he can\u2019t, he\u2019ll marry her if he wants her badly enough and that\u2019s the only way to have her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DWELLING <\/a>ACCORDING TO KNOWLEDGE<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.  I Peter 3:7<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This means knowing her needs, preferences, thoughts, and feelings.  He must think<\/em> about her when making decisions.  If a woman prefers vanilla ice cream and her husband always brings home chocolate, does he love her?  Will she feel loved?  The only way a man can get this knowledge is though hours and days of open-hearted conversation.  There\u2019s a reward \u2013 the better his wife knows him, the more easily she can please him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

STAYING MARRIED<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I would lead thee, and bring thee into my mother’s house, who would instruct me<\/p>\n\n\n\n

: I would cause thee to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate. 3<\/sup>His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.  Song of Solomon 8:2-3<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her mother tells her to welcome him into her body whenever he wants her<\/em>.  Giving herself when she\u2019d rather not is what submission means<\/em>.  She has more sexual capacity than he; she can drain off all of his energy to keep him focused.  If she sends him off to work loaded, he’ll be vulnerable to being tempted by other women (Pr. 6:28[19]<\/sup><\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

HUSBAND LEADS BY SERVING<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

And he sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all.  Mark 9:35<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

But Jesus called them to him, and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them. 43<\/sup>But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: 44<\/sup>And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. 45<\/sup>For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.  Mark 10:42-45<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

HUSBAND LEADS IN APPRECIATION<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  [saying]  29<\/sup>Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.  Proverbs 31:28-29<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mrs. Lemuel taught her son to praise his wife and teach his children to follow his example of praising and appreciating her.  This teaches the \u201cattitude of gratitude\u201d which blesses them all their lives.  Praise is partly to encourage his wife and partly to teach her children to respect her.  If her daughters respect her, she can teach them how to be treasures for their future husbands instead of being toys.  If her sons respect her, she can teach them how to be blessed by their future wives as Mrs. Lemuel taught her son in Pr. 31.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nowhere<\/em> in the Bible does a man criticize his wife.  Not once.  Really?  What about this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.  But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh.  Job 2:9<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Job\u2019s wife lost seven sons who were her hope of being fed after her husband died \u2013 no pensions.  Her husband lost his money and spoke of dying.  He said she spoke \u201clike a foolish woman.\u201d  That implied she wasn\u2019t usually foolish, it was halfway a compliment.  He criticized what she did<\/em>; he didn\u2019t criticize her<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  Proverbs 17:22<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

A husband\u2019s criticism dries a wife\u2019s bones and can shorten her life.  Praise helps her live longer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GOD SPEAKS TO WOMEN<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When he was set down on the judgment seat, his wife sent unto him, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.  Matthew 27:19<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Pilate\u2019s wife expected him to value her dream<\/em>.  He should have let the help meet God gave help him (Gen. 2:18, 20[20]<\/a>).  A wife becomes very frustrated if her husband won\u2019t let her help him.  She can\u2019t help without knowing his needs, she can\u2019t follow without knowing where he\u2019s going, she can\u2019t obey without understanding his plan.  That\u2019s another reason for him to open his heart to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WIFE RESPECTS HER HUSBAND AND GUIDES HIS HOUSE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 33<\/sup>Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself<\/p>\n\n\n\n

; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.  Ephesians 5:22, 33<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands<\/p>\n\n\n\n

, as it is fit in the Lord.  Colossians 3:18<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.  I Timothy 5:14<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Women are driven<\/em> to share information about caring for husbands, children, and homes.  That\u2019s a good thing.  The more they share about pleasing men, the happier they can make their husbands.  The more information they share about children, the healthier their families will be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A promise: both parties want to please each other:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33<\/sup>But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife<\/p>\n\n\n\n

. 34<\/sup>There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.  I Corinthians 7:32-34<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Only <\/a>Praise<\/h1>\n\n\n\n

You can teach marriage in two words: \u201cOnly praise.\u201d  What if husband and wife never criticized and looked every day<\/em> for little details to praise and appreciate as taught in the Song?  Would their marriage work?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was making a doctor\u2019s appointment for my wife.  The young lady saw that I treasured her and asked how long we\u2019d been married.  When I told her 52 years, she wanted to know how we did it.  I gave her 2 words \u2013 \u201cOnly praise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her eyes bugged out.  \u201cThat\u2019s hard<\/em>!\u201d she complained.  \u201cWhat do I do if I\u2019m really<\/em> upset<\/em> at him?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you an adult, or are you a child?\u201d I asked.  \u201cWe teach little kids not to lose their temper, not to throw angry words at each other by the time they\u2019re 2, age 3 at the latest<\/em>.  If you aren\u2019t grown up enough to keep your temper, are you mature enough to marry?\u201d  The Bible agrees that we must control our feelings:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.  Pro. 25:28<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Men must know:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Only praise.  If a woman\u2019s personality irritates him and makes it hard for him to keep his temper, should he marry her?  We teach kids not to hurl angry words by age 2 or 3.  Are you adult or child?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        When something goes wrong, take responsibility<\/em> instead of blaming your wife as Adam blamed Eve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Open his heart.  If he doesn\u2019t trust her enough to open his heart, should he marry her?  One of the rewards of opening his heart is that she will learn about him and figure out ways to please him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Opening his heart scares a man as much as opening her body scares a woman; it\u2019s OK (Pr. 31:11-12[21]<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00b7        Listen to her advice.  God made her to help him (Gen. 2:18, 20[22]<\/a>); if he won\u2019t listen to her and take her thoughts into account, she\u2019ll be very<\/em> unhappy and he\u2019ll make more mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

NEVER CRITICIZE YOUR SPOUSE<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

My future wife asked that I never fuss at her.  \u201cI want to love you very much,\u201d she said.  \u201cThe more I love you, the more disapproval hurts me.  I won\u2019t be able to love you as much as I want to love you if you hurt me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.  Proverbs 12:18<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I want my words to be health to her so she\u2019ll want to hear me.  I say, \u201cThat didn\u2019t work as well as we<\/em> planned.  What went wrong?  Let\u2019s learn to do better next time.\u201d  I say \u201cwe\u201d because she tries to do everything the way I want it done.  That puts me<\/em> in all she does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you die, people will remember the very last thing<\/em> you said.  Don\u2019t say anything which wouldn\u2019t please you as a last memory of you.  You can apologize, but you can\u2019t un-say anything, not ever<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, \/ Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit \/ Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, \/ Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.\u201d \u2015 Omar Khayy\u00e1m<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Nowhere<\/em> in the Bible<\/a> does a man criticize his wife, see page 9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

SHARING KNOWLEDGE WHEN MAKING DECISIONS<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The Bible tells us twice<\/em> that God values having many sources of advice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.  Pro. 11:14<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.  Proverbs 15:22<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A wife often knows things her husband doesn\u2019t, particularly about children.  It\u2019s foolish for a man to ignore his wife\u2019s knowledge and counsel when making decisions.  Even if her ideas aren\u2019t practical, her thoughts stir his thoughts and help make better decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In our five decades of deciding, it\u2019s been rare that the first idea from either of us stands the test of the other\u2019s knowledge.  It can take hours of discussion to get all the facts, but the decision is usually obvious once everyone\u2019s concerns are shared.  Knowledge sharing is one of the ways God wants us to edify one another (1 Thess. 5:11[23]<\/a>) and provoke one another to good works (Heb. 10:24[24]<\/a>), but we must speak kindly (Eph. 4:15-16[25]<\/a>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The hardest part about parenting is persuading children that your ways are right.  Unless you convince them your ways are best before they leave home, they\u2019ll do something else, to your sorrow.  A wife\u2019s gentle input helps persuade children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

MEETING HER NEEDS<\/a><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

A man must base his life with his wife on knowledge of her<\/a>, see page 7.  Older women are commanded to teach younger women about men because men are pretty much alike.  Women differ from each other more than men do, so the only way a man can learn to nourish and cherish his<\/em> wife is by hours and days of open-hearted talk with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

90% of how a marriage goes is based on how a man treats his wife but 90% of that is determined by how she behaves before marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.  Proverbs 31:10<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A woman sets her price by what she does.  If her price is a few dinners or a movie, she isn\u2019t worth much.  Her price should be his belonging to her as she belongs to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When God rejected her college boyfriend, my wife asked God to choose her husband.  God couldn\u2019t give her to me without counseling me first.  The Holy Spirit told her what to say to build our marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Few women can explain themselves to men, and no man can figure it out.  What God led my wife to tell me will give a woman words to make a man confident he can make her happy.  This will make him feel safe opening his heart to her and convince him that making her happy will make him very happy indeed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

BULLET <\/a>POINTS<\/h2>\n\n\n\n