{"id":20158,"date":"2024-09-06T13:29:16","date_gmt":"2024-09-06T17:29:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/?p=20158"},"modified":"2024-09-06T13:31:26","modified_gmt":"2024-09-06T17:31:26","slug":"20158","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/awarningministry.com\/index.php\/2024\/09\/06\/20158\/","title":{"rendered":"Someone asked me if I had a recent update on TheJoyFilledWife\u2019s husband and if he is still free from his porn addiction."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The Transformed Wife<\/strong><\/a> – TheJoyFilledWife Obeyed God and Won Her Husband From His Porn Addiction \u2013 The Transformed Wife<\/a> <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Someone asked me if I had a recent update on TheJoyFilledWife\u2019s husband and if he is still free from his porn addiction. I texted her and this is what she wrote to me yesterday:\u201cMy husband is still free from his addiction and has been very bold in reaching other men and helping them overcome it. A couple weeks ago, my husband told me that one of the young men he’s been mentoring told him that he’s gone over a month with no porn or seeking any visual gratification at all and that was an incredible thing to hear since the young man is seeking but is not even a believer yet. Praise God for what He is doing!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

TheJoyFilledWife Obeyed God and Won Her Husband From His Porn Addiction \u2013 The Transformed Wife<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

TheJoyFilledWife Obeyed God and Won Her Husband From His Porn Addiction<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
 September 4, 2024 <\/a> Lori Alexander<\/a> Comments 2 comments<\/a><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
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For some reason, many Christian women don\u2019t really trust God. They believe their ways are higher than God\u2019s ways. Let\u2019s take the matter of a husband who watches porn. If I give them the admonition to live out 1 Peter 3:1-6 as God commands women who are married to disobedient husbands to do, they don\u2019t agree. They give all types of others things women should do, even divorcing their husbands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ten years ago, I published a post about a friend of mine who won her husband who was addicted to porn. She obeyed God. She trusted God. Was it hard? Yes, it was hard! Nothing God asks us to do is ever easy. I am going to republish this post on my this blog since it\u2019s so popular and so good. Many men are addicted to porn these days. It\u2019s everywhere and so are immodestly dressed women. Just scrolling through Twitter, you\u2019ll see women modeling their thong bikinis for the world to see. This fuels men\u2019s desire for more. As women struggle with their emotional nature, men struggle with their sexual nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TheJoyFilledWife\u2019s husband had an addiction to pornography as she shared with us HERE<\/a><\/strong>. She told me that her husband won\u2019t read what she writes because it hurts him to read how much he hurt her. He wants her to share their story, however, in hopes of helping other women. Here is her story of how she won her husband with some very wise counseling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I was a little girl, a family member with severe anger issues tried to strangle me to death. I was not the cause of their anger. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and was an easy target. By the grace of God, He gave me the strength to break free and run away from my aggressor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From early childhood all the way to my pre-teen years, I was the target of very hateful bullying by other girls. Not one specific group of girls, just girls in general. When you\u2019re an adult, being slim is considered desirable, but it\u2019s not such a popular thing when you are in your adolescent years. The bullying got so bad that I attempted suicide at age 11. The Lord stilled my hand seconds away from taking my own life and whispered to my heart, \u201cIt\u2019s not your time. I\u2019m not finished with you yet.\u201d That was a turning point in my walk with God, and I made the decision to dedicate my life to accomplishing His will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a teenager, I was frequently pursued by men but their pursuits often turned to ridicule and slander when they found out that I was saving myself for marriage and refused their advances. I was known as a \u201cgoody two-shoes\u201d by most everyone who knew me, so they were all too eager to spread the rumor around when one of the men whose advances I refused convinced everyone that I had spent the night with him. I had a deep desire to honor the Lord and represent Him well, so these false allegations wounded me deeply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Years later, I would suffer the same slander from co-workers who insisted that I was lying about my virginity. They constantly attempted to ruin my witness with their lies and slander, but by this time I was a bit older and wiser, knowing how to combat their lies with my attitude and heart to obey God in all circumstances. I won many people over this way, and it caused my enemies to be exposed. They hated me for refusing to participate in their gossiping and perverse humor. In the end, though, even the \u201cringleader\u201d of the group admitted to me privately, \u201cI really can\u2019t stand you but, for some reason, I can\u2019t help but respect you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could go on and on with stories of horrible things that happened to me throughout my life, but I\u2019m not sharing these things to give you a sad story. The point I want to hit home is that because of all of the terrible things I experienced throughout my life, one of the characteristics God sowed in me all those years was \u201clongsuffering.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know what it is to live most of my life loving others, in spite of their sin against me and continue to love them regardless. Looking back on my life up until this point, I think I must have spent at least half of my nights crying myself to sleep as I prayed for God to just wrap me in His arms and mend the places of my heart that have been wounded by others. I learned early on that God was the only one who could heal the hurt and give me the strength to keep loving others when my flesh told me to hate them for how much they hurt me. I never understood why God allowed me to go through so much suffering at the hand of others, but I can\u2019t help but be reminded of what a friend said to me once, \u201cGod knows He can trust you with trouble.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before I met my husband, I prayed that the Lord would bring me a godly man who I could serve. Yes, serve. Those were my exact words. Marriage consists of lifelong servitude and although I wanted to live happily ever after like every other woman, I had a very realistic view of what a biblical marriage looked like. The Lord answered that prayer in a big way, as you can imagine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After I gently confronted my husband about his addiction and he opened up about it, we immediately sought out a godly counselor. Our counselor challenged us in all areas of our mind and heart. He didn\u2019t minimize any sin or take sides. The process of reconciliation and recovery was challenging for my husband, but truly painstaking for me. The counselor told me that if I wanted to help point my husband back to Christ, I had to be willing to do things that I didn\u2019t want to do. Things that wouldn\u2019t always seem fair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since I had no part in provoking my husband\u2019s addiction, the advice was not easy to hear but it worked. I remember crying once after reading an email regarding how I should respond to my husband\u2019s anger, lies, and control issues he had developed through his addiction. He was an almost unbearable man to live with during that time and the constant barrage of temptation I was facing as a result of his harshness toward me and depriving me of any kind of intimacy for sometimes three to four weeks at a time, I felt like I lived my life in constant inward mourning. Although I never considered divorcing my husband over his addiction, I remember one night when his outpouring of anger was at an all-time high, and he seemed to not even see me as a person of value anymore, I sobbed quietly in my pillow and told Jesus that I wished I had never married in the first place. The pain of constant loneliness in marriage was far more painful than singleness had been for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked God that night why He didn\u2019t bring my husband\u2019s sin to the surface before we got married. We took all the precautions before marriage, including lengthy pre-marital counseling in which all topics were covered thoroughly, including pornography. I had even asked God to reveal to me if there were any red flags in my potential husband but His voice was silent at that time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That night when I asked God why my husband\u2019s addiction hadn\u2019t been revealed to me before marriage, He showed me something that I think is seldom understood in marriage. You see, we have often heard the saying, \u201cMarriage is not meant to make you happy, but to make you holy.\u201d What that looks like in action is to sometimes forsake your own desires or \u201crights\u201d in order to help your spouse turn back to the Lord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am not advocating putting up with physical violence or the like, but I think we make the mistake of thinking that if our \u201crights\u201d are infringed upon, we have an automatic \u201cout\u201d in marriage. The problem with this is not only that it isn\u2019t biblical, but that it doesn\u2019t achieve the outcome of refining each other and helping our spouse become more like Christ. What the Lord revealed to me that night is that the reason my husband\u2019s addiction wasn\u2019t shown to me before I married him was because I wouldn\u2019t have married him if I had known about it. God had chosen me to be my husband\u2019s wife, because He cultivated within me specific character traits of Christ that were to serve as an example to my husband and help Him come to a place of deliverance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God fully intended from the beginning to use the longsuffering He developed in me over the years to win my husband without a word as he gradually overcame his addiction. I only wish I had realized that when I began this brutal but worthwhile journey over a year ago. When God choses our spouse for us, He puts two people together who are best designed to help refine each other and become more like Christ. I think we often get so caught up in the fact that our spouse is not meeting all our desires that we lose sight of the fact that our spouse\u2019s shortcomings and even sins are often what God plans to use to help us overcome our own sins and struggles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some of the practical, day-to-day ways I won my husband without a word were very difficult to put into action. I did all of them based on the guidance of our counselor and pastoral approval. Here are some of the actions I lived out daily while in constant prayer for my husband\u2019s recovery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pornography brings about a desire to control and dominate. To see people as objects to conquer or devour instead of people to love and value. To say that my husband became micromanaging over every area of my life would be a true understatement. I remember a specific incident when my husband became angry with me for eating a slice of bread. I had eaten lunch four hours prior, and he didn\u2019t think I should be eating again so soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My counselor explained to me that my husband felt like his life was out of control and that rebelling against his unreasonable micromanaging would serve no purpose but to feed the desire to control more. They emphasized the importance of me always checking my heart and that I needed to remain as \u201cbehind the scenes\u201d in my habits that angered him as much as possible. If I insisted on putting up a fight even though he was unreasonable, it would only serve to drive him further away out of feeling like he also was losing his authority in his marriage. I decided to keep snacks in my bathroom drawer and my purse so I could take a few bites while I went out to get the mail or was in the other room. Was he unreasonable to become upset about me eating a slice of bread four hours after my last meal? Yes. But my counselor helped me see that I needed to avoid being a distraction as God worked on my husband\u2019s heart. My husband apologized to me later that night for being controlling about the bread.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because my husband\u2019s addiction caused him to become a man he wasn\u2019t proud of. He would often take his inner frustrations with himself and project them verbally onto me. He would blame me for things I had no part in, would become angry that I didn\u2019t meet an expectation he had failed to communicate to me, and on one occasion, belittled me in front of our guests for not having dinner completely ready when he walked through the door with them, even though he had failed to call me and let me know they were heading over as agreed upon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My counselor explained to me that my husband was projecting his feelings of failure and inadequacy onto me because he was not happy with himself and the choices he was making. Pornography addictions are built upon a foundation of selfishness, and it was easier for my husband to shift blame than to own up to his own failures when he already was overwhelmed by the shame of his failure to resist his sinful addiction for so long. The counselor guided me to not respond to my husband in front of others or to fight with him when he lashed out at me. Instead, I was to calmly and firmly explain to him privately that I was not responsible for the failure he was angry about and how it made me feel when he belittled me in front of others. After that, I was not to carry on or get into an argument, no matter how much he wanted to fight. The counselor warned me to keep my heart and spirit in the right place in these situations, so the devil would not gain a foothold with me and perpetuate the situation further. I was to be an instrument of peace. Not a doormat to walk all over, but a wife with inner strength that uses her tongue to impart peace amidst the war within my husband\u2019s heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My husband was very unhelpful with our children during the time of beginning to overcome his addiction and would gripe if I asked him for even a small favor. I did not ask him often, but there were times when I was incapable of accomplishing two things at once and he would refuse to help out. My counselor showed me that taking care of the children was my God-given responsibility and that I could show my husband respect and build him up as a husband by taking on all of the responsibilities in this area and thanking him for how hard he works to provide for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ll never forget the counselor\u2019s first words to me when I asked what I should do when my husband refuses to help: \u201cDon\u2019t fight a battle that\u2019s not worth dying for!\u201d Those words rang over and over again in my head. God had bigger things to work on in my husband\u2019s heart than unhelpfulness. I did not need to dwell on the smaller things and make them as big a priority as the serious stuff. The small stuff would be ironed out over time after the Lord refined my husband and helped him break the chains of his addiction. We are currently at the place where God is working on the medium to small things now, and it has been such a blessing to come home now from running errands to children that have been bathed and put to bed!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the progression and height of my husband\u2019s addiction, I was denied sexually almost every single time I asked. There was always an excuse made why he couldn\u2019t do it. Usually, he would say that he was too tired or in a bad mood, even though he would stay up for hours afterward doing other things. I tried not to nag him about this but did come to him several different times and let him know that I was struggling greatly with temptation from lack of intimacy in our marriage. He would simply respond, \u201cMaybe in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My counselor explained to me that, while my husband was clearly sinning by defrauding me, the selfishness that comes from porn addictions, as well as the fact that he was already meeting his sexual needs through that outlet, was responsible for his sin in refusing me. He had trained his mind to mentally \u201cdispose\u201d of images that no longer excited him in search of a more exciting image. When you train your brain to become aroused by two dimensional images, it\u2019s a lot harder to be interested in your real life relationship with your wife. It had nothing to do with my value as a person or my physical attractiveness, but he literally trained his brain to seek arousal and fulfillment from things that will never satisfy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When he had just met his own sexual desires in sinful ways, he no longer felt a need for intimacy with me. As hard as it was to do, my counselor told me that when I felt temptation coming on, to go into the other room after my husband fell asleep and work out as hard as I could to release excess energy. Once I finished that, I should spend time in the Word and in prayer for myself and my husband. I needed to memorize Scripture and inundate my mind with the Truth. That was the only way to resist the enemy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s hard to explain just how trying the battle has been for me, but I\u2019ve seen so much growth come about in my walk with God as a result. There were some strongholds of insecurity that I had struggled with throughout my whole life as a result of some of the traumatic things that occurred in my adolescent years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God used this trial to bring me to a place where I have been freed from that stronghold and now see myself through His eyes. God used my husband\u2019s sin to help me overcome the struggles in my own life. There was a time when I almost lost all hope that I would ever be delivered from my strongholds, but I found that I really can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. He is so faithful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My husband is a drastically different man today than he was even a year ago. Although there are still sinful habits that he is working to cast aside after all those years of addiction, they are on a much smaller scale than the big things he was facing every day. I see my husband viewing me as a woman of great value and showing me a vulnerability and tenderness that I had never known before. He is doing more to serve me, initiating sex daily, and even asking me if I am in need of intimacy, even when I can clearly see that he is tired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recovery truly takes time, but I couldn\u2019t be prouder of how incredibly far he\u2019s come and the steps he\u2019s taken to be completely honest with me and seek my accountability in his struggles. I feel like I\u2019m getting to know who my husband is for the first time and I cherished the moment when he said to me, \u201cI feel like I\u2019m falling in love with you all over again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When my husband got to a place where he was right with God again, I felt the Holy Spirit prompt me to ask my husband to disciple me in some areas. This was very difficult for me to do because I had been the spiritual influence in our household when my husband was living in sin, and it was very hard to ask him to teach me. The Lord revealed to me that if there was one thing that would heal my husband more than anything else, it was time in the Word. If my husband were to agree to disciple me, he would inevitably be spending more time in the Scriptures as he prepares to teach me. This was one of the best decisions I ever made for our marriage. He has stepped back up to the plate as the spiritual leader of our family and teaching me the Word has spurred on the habit of reading his Bible even more every day. He has been teaching me so many things lately and I am so blessed by the wisdom he has been imparting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God is so faithful to be with us through the storms of life. He truly does work all things out for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose. My husband told me the other day that he looks forward to the day when his sin is far behind him and God uses his testimony to reach other men who desire to be delivered from their bondage as well. In the meantime, he has given me permission to stand in the gap and to minister to wives who are experiencing the same devastation that I went through. Although no two stories are identical, I hope that my story will bring hope to hurting hearts in desperate need of healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word by the conversation of the wives.<\/strong><\/em>
I Peter 3:1<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Subscribe to my blog HERE<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

***UPDATE FROM THEJOYFILLEDWIFE ON 9\/5\/2024<\/strong>: \u201cMy husband is still free from his addiction and has been very bold in reaching other men and helping them overcome it. A couple weeks ago, my husband told me that one of the young men he\u2019s been mentoring told him that he\u2019s gone over a month with no porn or seeking any visual gratification at all and that was an incredible thing to hear since the young man is seeking but is not even a believer yet. Praise God for what He is doing!\u201dShare<\/a>Tweet<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Marriage<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Transformed Wife – TheJoyFilledWife Obeyed God and Won Her Husband From His Porn Addiction \u2013 The Transformed Wife Someone asked me if I had a recent update on TheJoyFilledWife\u2019s husband and if he is still free from his porn addiction. I texted her and this is what she wrote to me yesterday:\u201cMy husband is…
Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,100],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-pornography-distroys"],"yoast_head":"\nSomeone asked me if I had a recent update on TheJoyFilledWife\u2019s husband and if he is still free from his porn addiction. - Earnestly Contend For The Faith Jude 3<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Someone asked me if I had a recent update on TheJoyFilledWife\u2019s husband and if he is still free from his porn addiction. - Earnestly Contend For The Faith Jude 3\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The Transformed Wife – TheJoyFilledWife Obeyed God and Won Her Husband From His Porn Addiction \u2013 The Transformed Wife Someone asked me if I had a recent update on TheJoyFilledWife\u2019s husband and if he is still free from his porn addiction. 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