In America, the Christian divorce rate is the same as among the lost. When people see that we can\u2019t handle this life, why should they care what we say about the life to come? Christians should show Christ by the way we live, but our divorce rate wrecks<\/em> our testimony and dishonors Christ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My wife and I know<\/em> that a good marriage gives a taste of the joys of Heaven; you\u2019ve seen that bad marriages give a taste of the sufferings of Hell. God wants to bless His people, listen to His frustration when He can\u2019t:<\/p>\n\n\n\n O that there were such an heart in them, that they would fear me, and keep all my commandments always, that it might be well with them, and with their children for ever! Deuteronomy 5:29<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n God\u2019s love makes Him want to bless us, but His holiness demands that He can\u2019t bless us unless we get with His program. In order to get with God\u2019s program for marriage, we have to understand<\/em> God\u2019s program for marriage and most people don\u2019t. The Bible tells why marriages fail:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hosea 4:6<\/strong> says, \u201cMy people are destroyed for want of knowledge.\u201d Marriages fail when men and women don\u2019t know how God intended marriage to operate. There\u2019s a wider problem in that the relationship between husband and wife is based on their individual relationships to God. If husband and wife each relate to God by honoring, praising, loving, and obeying Him, they can relate properly to each other by honoring, praising, loving and appreciating each other and their marriage can prosper. If either party messes up their relationship with God, the marriage seldom works well even if they both know how marriage should<\/em> work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We\u2019ll explore the Word of God to see what God said about marriage. The Bible keeps tying marriage back to our relationships with God. Salvation, which is the relationship between an individual sinner and God, is simple; it\u2019s based on receiving God\u2019s undeserved grace. The marriage relationship is also simple; it\u2019s based on husband and wife giving each other the same undeserved grace that God gave in saving them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Many people reject God\u2019s plan of salvation when we offer it and go to Hell. Many reject God\u2019s plan of marriage and find Hell on earth. In John 15:10<\/strong>, Jesus said, \u201cIf ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love.\u201d That\u2019s another way of saying that God plans to bless us if<\/em> we obey His commandments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Christians trust God for salvation. If we trust Him with our souls, why can\u2019t we get with His program and trust Him with our marriages? Few Christians know what God says about marriage because they aren\u2019t being taught. How can anyone follow God\u2019s program without being taught? We older Christians should teach. We answer to God for what we teach; those who hear us answer to God for what they do with the knowledge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Teaching is important<\/em>. I once lined up to use a copier. Over the copier was a crude, disrespectful sign which was typical of the way many men think about women. This sign was an offense to God. Pro. 18:22<\/strong> says that a wife is a \u201cgood thing\u201d and a \u201cfavor from the Lord.\u201d James 1:17<\/strong> says that God gives good and perfect gifts. God wants<\/em> a woman to be treated as His good and perfect gift to her husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was sad to be reminded how so many men feel about women. That attitude toward women is not<\/em> what God had in mind, not at all.<\/em> Men chase women pretty hard<\/em>. Why? Men know<\/em> that women should<\/em> be good, that\u2019s why they chase \u2018em. I told the woman in front of me that the sign made me sad. She told me her daughters tried very hard<\/em> to be good wives, but her sons-in-law were hard on them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I asked her if she had any sons. She had two and after some discussion, she realized that her sons treated her daughters-in-law just as badly as her sons-in-law treated her daughters. \u201cThere was a time,\u201d I pointed out, \u201cwhen you were bigger than your sons. Why didn\u2019t you<\/em> teach them how to be nice to women so they\u2019d appreciate you and know how to take care of their future wives?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She thought a moment, and then looked stricken. \u201cBecause I was working and didn\u2019t have time,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I knew to ask what she\u2019d taught her sons because the Bible teaches that sons learn how to care for wives from mothers. Proverbs 31 describes a \u201cvirtuous woman,\u201d a wife who pleases God. Who wrote Proverbs 31? Pro. 31:1, \u201cThe words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.\u201d Mrs. Lemuel gets 31 verses in the Word of God and what does she do? She spends her first 9 verses telling her son how to run the kingdom. 9 verses, that\u2019s all. Just about every book on business management I\u2019ve read can be traced back to Mrs. Lemuel\u2019s rules. She spends her remaining 22 verses teaching her son about a good wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mrs. Lemuel knew that dealing with a wife is far<\/em> more complicated than running a kingdom. Mrs. Lemuel also knew that if the king has a good marriage, the kingdom runs fine;<\/em> if he has a bad marriage, the kingdom\u2019s in trouble no matter what he does. You see this at work. If the boss has a good marriage, things go well, when the boss\u2019 marriage is in bad shape, so is the business. This is because the way a man leads his wife and family is pretty much the same way he leads his employees, subordinates, or paritioners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most of Proverbs is advice from father to son; Chapter 31 is mother to son. How many fathers or mothers<\/em> teach sons how to care for a wife and how to nourish and cherish her and thank God for her? If a man doesn\u2019t know how to relate to his mother, how can he relate to his wife? If his mother doesn\u2019t teach him, who will?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let me give you more examples of what\u2019s not being taught. The Bible commands:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed<\/p>\n\n\n\n . Titus 2:3-5<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The passage teaches two things: 1)<\/strong> women do not<\/em> know how to love husbands without being taught. Ladies have to be taught to cook, and clean, and keep a home. Some men seem to expect women to be born knowing how to cook and clean, but nobody reasonable<\/em> expects anyone to know how to do these things without teaching. Why do we expect women to know how to love their husbands without being taught? Lesson 2)<\/strong> is that not<\/em> being taught leads to blasphemy! If women aren\u2019t taught how to love their husbands, the Word of God is blasphemed because Christian marriages are supposed to illustrate God\u2019s love, grace, and forgiveness! I\u2019m not criticizing women; I\u2019m emphasizing the importance of teaching God\u2019s Word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This passage also commands that women be taught how to love their children. God gave us three sons so my wife knows about raising sons. She visited a younger woman who had two daughters and a 2 or 3 year old son. My wife said that sons are different from daughters; the younger woman had seen that. My wife explained that if she let him, her son would rule the household because in the flesh, a man wants to boss women around. If she didn\u2019t stop him, her son would tyrannize his sisters and try to rule her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Just then, her son climbed out of his crib and came to the top of the stairs. \u201cMommy! Come here now!\u201d<\/em> he called. She went to the bottom of the stairs and asked him what he wanted. \u201cTake me down!\u201d he commanded<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Having heard my wife, his mother knew what was going on. Instead of obeying, she told her son to come down himself and went back to her conversation. My wife pointed out that Jesus came to serve rather than to be served (Mt. 20:25-28, Mk. 9:35, 10:42-45). In the flesh,<\/em> a man\u2019s nature is to rule women and tyrannize them. She would have to teach her son to nourish and cherish his future wife by serving<\/em> her as commanded in Eph. 5:29, \u201cHusbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church.\u201d It\u2019s not natural for a man to love his wife enough to give his life to take care of her, that\u2019s why God commanded it and why parents have to teach it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eph. 5:33 tells wives to reverence their husbands. No<\/em> husband deserves<\/em> that because all<\/em> husbands are forgiven sinners at best. Older women need to teach that the only way a wife can reverence her imperfect husband from her heart<\/em> is to show him a picture of God\u2019s grace. When lost people see a wife giving her husband grace he doesn\u2019t deserve, they may want God\u2019s saving grace for themselves. If wives don\u2019t honor husbands, God\u2019s grace is quenched, which is a form of blasphemy. That\u2019s serious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve talked to a lot of older women. They tell me they don\u2019t teach because younger women won\u2019t listen. That\u2019s no excuse; we\u2019re to give the gospel even if people don\u2019t listen. Noah preached for 100 years, nobody listened, but he didn\u2019t quit. But that excuse isn\u2019t even true, young ladies are eager<\/em> to listen. In about 5 minutes, my wife can explain what a young lady wants from marriage and what her husband wants from her. There\u2019s no problem<\/em> getting them to listen. The problem is that many older women don\u2019t want<\/em> to tell younger women how to love their husbands. We\u2019ve been criticized for telling daughters what marriage is all about. Some older people don\u2019t want <\/em>younger people taught about the defining characteristics of marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I believe that there are two reasons why Christians aren\u2019t teaching young people about marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n First,<\/strong> it seems that most Christians are embarrassed to teach their children the physical side of marriage, even though it\u2019s in the Bible and we\u2019re commanded<\/em> to teach our children everything<\/em> God said:<\/p>\n\n\n\n And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 <\/strong>see also<\/em> 11:19<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Some say that some parts of the Bible aren\u2019t for children, but when the Bible was written, children became adults at 12 years old. There\u2019s no excuse for keeping any<\/em> of the Bible from anyone 12 or older. The Bible doesn\u2019t say, \u201cTeach this<\/em> to your girl children and that<\/em> to your boy children,\u201d we\u2019re told to teach the entire<\/em> Bible to all<\/em> our children. There\u2019s no reason to separate by gender when teaching all<\/em> the Word of God. All of it? Even the sexy parts? The Apostle Paul thought so:<\/p>\n\n\n\n For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God<\/p>\n\n\n\n . Acts 20:27<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAll the counsel of God\u201d means the entire<\/em> Word of God, all 66 books and all 31,036 verses. We Christians say<\/em> we base our lives on the Bible, but we tend to skip over passages that explain what goes on between husband and wife. Kids have to be taught how to drive cars or they\u2019ll get killed, we spend money and effort getting children into a \u201cgood college,\u201d but we don\u2019t teach them how to build a God-honoring marriage. Which is worse, going to the wrong college or marrying the wrong person? Why<\/em> do we ignore those parts of the Bible? When all else fails, read the directions!<\/p>\n\n\n\n The second <\/strong>reason Christians aren\u2019t teaching marriage is that they seem to believe that the physical part of marriage is evil, or wrong, or disgusting, or secret, or embarrassing. We don\u2019t<\/em> want to talk about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n God tells us to be fruitful and multiply. Does God tell us to do something or teach something that would require that we sin? Of course not. Sex isn\u2019t sinful, it\u2019s not shameful, it\u2019s in the Bible and it should be taught.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s far <\/em>more to loving husbands than the physical, but the physical part of marriage is important, especially to men.<\/em> Young ladies who don\u2019t understand a man\u2019s view of sex, who don\u2019t know a man\u2019s agenda, often fall into trouble. Ladies need to be taught that sex defines<\/em> marriage. A woman can be a housemaid and guide a man\u2019s house without marrying him. A woman can raise a man\u2019s children without marrying him; many women are nannies and teachers. A woman can feed a man outside marriage, we have cooks. She can work with or for a man. A man and woman may do just about everything together without being married, but there\u2019s one<\/em> thing God says they must not do outside marriage,<\/em> and that\u2019s have sex. Sex defines<\/em> marriage; Isaac and Rebecca were married the moment he took her to wife but not until then (Genesis 24:67).<\/p>\n\n\n\n Why was Jacob eager to marry Rachel? The Bible tells us why he wanted to get married:<\/p>\n\n\n\n And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her<\/p>\n\n\n\n . Genesis 29:21<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Would Jacob have yearned<\/em> to marry Rachel if they\u2019d been living together? Pr. 31:10 says that the price of a virtuous<\/em> woman is \u201cfar above rubies.\u201d A woman sets her price by what she does. If a man can have her for nothing, she\u2019s worth little. If she insists that he marry her and belong to her,<\/em> her price is his life for her life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s important to understand the power of sex. Most women complain that it\u2019s difficult to give meaningful Christmas or birthday gifts to husbands, sons or brothers. Why is this? What do men want? God planned for women to guide the house (1 Ti. 5:14), which costs money. God made men so that if<\/em> a man\u2019s wife is pleased to belong to him, that is, he can have her whenever he wants her, she encourages him to take her, and thanks him for taking her, he doesn\u2019t want much else and they can spend most of his income on the family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ecclesiastes 7:28 shows that King Solomon was not<\/em> happily married. Ecclesiastes 2:1-11 teaches that he spent huge<\/em> amounts of money trying to make himself happy but it didn\u2019t work, everything he did was \u201cvanity and vexation of spirit.\u201d If a man isn\u2019t happy with his wife, he\u2019ll buy toys to make himself happy. This won\u2019t work, but it\u2019s the best he can do. Solomon wasn\u2019t happy with his wives, so nothing<\/em> he did made him happy. If a man is<\/em> happy with his wife, however, the work he does to support her and care for her makes her<\/em> happy which makes him<\/em> happy. Ecclesiastes 9:9 teaches that a wife is a man\u2019s only<\/em> source of joy other than salvation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We all know the power of sex for evil, but it\u2019s important to understand the power of sex for good. Ladies, would God want you to teach something unclean or shameful? God commands that young ladies be taught how to love their husbands as the wife\u2019s mother taught her daughter in the Song of Solomon (Song 8:2-3). There\u2019s nothing wrong with explaining the physical side of marriage and God expects younger women to be taught what men are all about. Being embarrassed to teach about sex is not <\/em>of God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Bible does say that the flesh, that is, the desire of our sinful nature, is corrupt and wrong:<\/p>\n\n\n\n For I know that in me [that is, in my flesh,] dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Romans 7:18-19<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption. I Corinthians 15:50<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n The Bible teaches that the desires<\/em> of the flesh are corrupt, but it also teaches four reasons how we can know<\/em> that desires which are expressed properly in marriage are not<\/em> corrupt, marriage is pure and undefiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n First, <\/strong>Paul said there\u2019s no sin at all <\/em>in marriage itself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned<\/p>\n\n\n\n ; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned<\/p>\n\n\n\n . Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: I Corinthians 7:28<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Marriage brings trouble, not sin. The joining of husband to wife is pure; it\u2019s not of the flesh. The Gnostics taught that marriage was of the flesh and was sinful. The Bible blows away<\/em> Gnostic teaching against marriage:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Marriage is honorable in all<\/p>\n\n\n\n , and the bed undefiled<\/p>\n\n\n\n : but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The desires of the flesh are corrupt, the Bible says, but marriage is honorable \u201cin all;\u201d everything<\/em> about marriage done God\u2019s way is honorable. To make sure, the verse adds, \u201cand the bed undefiled.\u201d When husband and wife come together in marriage, they do not<\/em> show the corruption of the flesh, their coming together is pure and undefiled in contrast to whoremongers and adulterers who come together outside marriage. God compares the relationship between Christ and His people to marriage; would God use that analogy if marriage were corrupt? Of course not. Marriage isn\u2019t corrupt; it\u2019s pure and holy and based on grace, just like salvation.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s a second<\/strong> passage that shows that Godly marriage between two saved people is holy and pure:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: that every one of you should know how to possess his vessel<\/p>\n\n\n\n in sanctification and honor; not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: \u2026 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness<\/p>\n\n\n\n . I Thessalonians 4:1-5,7<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Saved men and women must know how to come together in \u201chonor and sanctification.\u201d Some church people insist that this has nothing to do with marriage and that it teaches a man to keep his own body pure. A man should do that, but it\u2019s clear this passage refers to how a husband possesses his wife. There are several reasons. First,<\/strong> the word \u201cvessel\u201d in this verse appears in one other place in the New Testament:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel<\/p>\n\n\n\n , and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. I Peter 3:7<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cVessel\u201d refers to the wife; it\u2019s another verse that teaches a man to honor his wife. Second,<\/strong> a \u201cvessel\u201d receives; in the physical part of marriage, the husband gives and the wife receives. Third,<\/strong> the Bible teaches in three other places that a man should set his wife apart from all other women, that is, sanctify her:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all<\/p>\n\n\n\n . Proverbs 31:28-29<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Mrs. Lemuel expects a man to teach his children that their mother is the best wife in all the world<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n My dove, my undefiled is but one<\/p>\n\n\n\n ; she is the only one<\/p>\n\n\n\n of her mother, she is the choice one<\/p>\n\n\n\n of her that bare her. The daughters saw her, and blessed her; yea, the queens and the concubines, and they praised her. Song of Solomon 6:9<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee. Song of Solomon 4:1<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Saying that I Thessalonians 4:1-5<\/strong> requires that a man sanctify his wife as holy, perfect, and unique is consistent with the rest of God\u2019s Word. Fourth,<\/strong> I live in my body, I inhabit it, I don\u2019t \u201cpossess\u201d it. God has called His people to holiness; a man must possess his wife, that is, his vessel, in honor and sanctification, not in lust. He must know how, which means he must be taught,<\/em> God doesn\u2019t command us to eat and sleep which we do naturally. God tells us things we wouldn\u2019t figure out without His Word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSanctified\u201d means set apart for a holy purpose, and marriage is holy. That is why preachers refer to \u201choly matrimony.\u201d A man must sanctify his vessel by marrying her before<\/em> having sex with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This passage has a difficult message for men. Sanctification means \u201cto set apart for sacred<\/em> use; to consecrate, to make holy; purify.\u201d For a husband to possess his wife in sanctification means to do it in purity, he\u2019s setting her apart for sacred use<\/em>. This is consistent with saying that the marriage bed is undefiled and for pastors conducting weddings to speak of \u201choly matrimony.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s not only undefiled, it\u2019s holy, sacred, and pure. Why would God have commanded men to possess in sanctification if it were natural? It isn\u2019t, lust is natural and of the flesh, sanctification is of God and comes after all things are made new through salvation. Natural men treat women as toys without honoring them; an unsaved man can\u2019t <\/em>possess his wife in sanctification because he hasn\u2019t asked God to sanctify him.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n A saved man owes his wife sanctification and honor and must know how to possess her in sanctification and honor; he must not<\/em> possess her in the \u201clust of concupiscence.\u201d The word \u201clust\u201d is defined as \u201cinordinate passion,\u201d and \u201cconcupiscence\u201d means \u201clonging after that which is forbidden<\/em>,\u201d that is, longing for a woman who\u2019s not<\/em> his wife. To keep his wife from thinking that any woman would do, to keep her from thinking that in his passion, he doesn\u2019t remember that it\u2019s her and not someone else, a man must let his wife know that he values her as a unique person, as a mind, as a set of skills, as a help meet, as a companion, and not just as a body. The verse speaks of abstaining from fornication, if a man doesn\u2019t make his wife feel sanctified, she<\/em> feels that he\u2019s fornicating because any woman would satisfy him as well as she does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s important to make a wife feel valued beyond her physical attractiveness<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In order to set his wife apart from all other women, a man must know many details that make her unique. The husband in the Song of Solomon, praises his wife in great detail<\/em>. He speaks of the shape of her nose and praises the roof of her mouth. In order to praise her in detail<\/em>, he has to pay attention to her and notice everything about her. Women appreciate being noticed, and nowhere in the Bible does a man criticize his wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I Peter 3:7<\/strong> tells men to \u201cdwell with her according to knowledge,\u201d that is, live with a wife according to knowledge of her.<\/em> The only way a man can get knowledge of his<\/em> wife is to talk to her in open-hearted conversation for several hours per day for the first year or two where he supplies at least 1\/3 of the words. As he learns what makes her special, he can begin to sanctify her. Paying attention to her and learning about her makes her feel loved. Because God made women more sensitive then man, she will learn more about him than he learns about her. This makes her better able to think of things that will please him, which is another benefit of his learning about her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A husband also has to protect his wife from being hurt, particularly early in marriage. If she says \u201couch,\u201d he should stop<\/em>. It\u2019s stupid<\/em> for a man to give his wife the impression that when he\u2019s most focused on her he doesn\u2019t care about hurting her. God expects wives to like<\/em> belong to their husbands (Song 2:16, 6:3, 7:10). How can a wife be happy about belonging to her husband if she\u2019s afraid he\u2019ll hurt her?<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. John 4:18<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Fear is the enemy of love. A wife can\u2019t love her husband in perfect love, that is, be glad to belong to him by eagerly opening her body to him, if she\u2019s afraid he\u2019ll hurt her. This works both ways, of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Proverbs 12:18<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n A man can\u2019t love his wife in perfect love, that is, be glad to belong to her by opening his heart to her, if he\u2019s afraid of being hurt by the sword of her tongue. When he<\/em> says \u201cOuch\u201d about something she\u2019s said, she should stop, no matter how much she likes what she\u2019s saying. If she\u2019s wise enough to make her words health to him, on the other hand, he\u2019ll be eager to hear what she has to say (Pro. 31:26).<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s another point. Titus 2:3-5<\/strong> says that young ladies are to be taught \u201cthat the word of God be not blasphemed.\u201d Loving a man improperly blasphemes against the word of God. Men have to know how to sanctify; women must know how to be<\/em> sanctified. The physical part of marriage isn\u2019t supposed<\/em> to be of the flesh, God intended that it be pure, holy, and sanctified. Proverbs 30:18-19<\/strong> says that the way of a man with a maid, that is, physical union, is too wonderful to describe. Hebrews 13:4<\/strong> says it\u2019s undefiled, I Thess. 4:1-5<\/strong> says that a husband must know how to bring himself and his wife together in honor, purity, and holiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s nothing embarrassing, or defiled, or impure, or shameful about what goes on in marriage. The idea that it shouldn\u2019t be discussed is a lie of Satan, the father of lies. Satan doesn\u2019t want young people taught how to be married, so he lies to Christians and makes them ashamed to talk about it. Young people who don\u2019t know what marriage is about fall into divorce which gratifies Satan and grieves God.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s a 3rd<\/strong> proof that marriage is honorable and that the Gnostics were wrong\u2013marriage came before<\/em> the fall at a time when God had declared all things to be \u201cvery good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Genesis 1:27-28<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. Genesis 1:31<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n God told men and women to be fruitful and multiply before<\/em> He said that everything that He had made was \u201cvery good,\u201d including<\/em> their being fruitful and multiplying. The physical part of marriage is \u201cvery good,\u201d God Himself said so. The Bible gives further detail about creating men and women:<\/p>\n\n\n\n And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. \u2026 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:18-24<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n It was not good<\/em> for the man to be alone; Eve was formed before<\/em> God said everything including women<\/em> was \u201cvery good.\u201d Forming Eve was God\u2019s last act of creation which completed creation and made it \u201cvery good.\u201d Adam named the animals so Adam knew loneliness before God formed Eve. Did God have to persuade Adam to pay attention to Eve? Did God say, \u201cAdam, I\u2019m sorry you didn\u2019t like my animals, here\u2019s someone else I whipped up, why don\u2019t you get to know her, you might like her?\u201d Did God say that?<\/p>\n\n\n\n No, God didn\u2019t say anything. How did Adam react? He wanted<\/em> Eve; he named her and claimed her on the spot.<\/em> He said she was part of him and that she belonged to him. He named her \u201cwoman\u201d without asking her what she wanted to be called. How possessive can you get? Women bristle at, \u201cMe Tarzan, you Jane,\u201d but it\u2019s been like that since the beginning, Adam said, \u201cMe Adam, you Eve.\u201d<\/em> Adam desired<\/em> Eve, Adam named<\/em> Eve, Adam claimed<\/em> Eve and it was all \u201cvery good.\u201d There\u2019s nothing wrong<\/em> with a man claiming a woman if <\/em>he takes her in sanctification and honor, that is, he marries her first<\/em> and then honors her and sets her apart all his days. Taking a woman to wife is honorable and right, taking her outside marriage is sinful and shameful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s a 4th<\/sup><\/strong> reason I\u2019m convinced that the physical part of marriage is pure and honorable \u2013 God planned that the marriage covenant be sealed with blood. Marriage is a covenant, Malachi 2:14<\/strong> refers to \u201cthe wife of thy covenant.\u201d The phrase \u201cthy covenant\u201d refers to the husband. A marriage covenant belongs to the man who offers it to the woman. If she accepts his covenant and he takes her to wife, they\u2019re married. When they come together, what matters is the desire of their hearts. If they intend to marry from their hearts, if they mean to sanctify each other before God and others, their joining is holy and pure, otherwise it\u2019s polluted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n God says that blood is a big deal. We Christians are sanctified through the blood of Jesus Christ:<\/p>\n\n\n\n By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ<\/p>\n\n\n\n once for all. Hebrews 10:10<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood<\/p>\n\n\n\n , suffered without the gate. Hebrews 13:21<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You may remember the old hymn \u201cHe died that we might be forgiven, He died to make us good, that we might go at last to heaven, saved by His precious blood.\u201d Blood is very<\/em> important to God:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Whereupon neither the first testament was dedicated without blood. For when Moses had spoken every precept to all the people according to the law, he took the blood of calves and of goats, with water, and scarlet wool, and hyssop, and sprinkled both the book, and all the people, saying, This is the blood of the testament which God hath enjoined unto you. Moreover he sprinkled with blood both the tabernacle, and all the vessels of the ministry. And almost all things<\/p>\n\n\n\n are by the law purged with blood<\/p>\n\n\n\n ; and without shedding of blood is no remission. Hebrews 9:18-22<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Moses sprinkled the book of the law, that is, the Bible, and sprinkled the people as a sign that they would obey the Word of God. All of the equipment of the temple was sanctified to God by being sprinkled with blood. The Bible goes on to say, \u201cAnd almost all things are by the law purged with blood\u2026\u201d (Hebrews 9:22).<\/p>\n\n\n\n God created all things from a plan, He did nothing by accident. A woman sheds blood on three different occasions. The first time a man takes a woman, her blood is shed. This blood, which the Bible calls \u201ctokens of her virginity,\u201d sanctifies her marriage covenant if<\/em> he takes her in marriage, otherwise shedding her blood profanes God\u2019s sacred marriage covenant. God\u2019s holy marriage covenant between a man and a woman is sealed and sanctified by the bride\u2019s shed blood. They aren\u2019t married until he takes her to wife (Genesis 23:67, Ruth 4:13); their marriage covenant takes effect when it\u2019s sealed with her blood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When God offered God\u2019s covenant to Abraham, he, as the weaker party, gave up some of his animals to provide blood to seal the covenant with God (Genesis 15). When a woman accepts a man\u2019s offer of his marriage covenant, she, the weaker party, gives up her innocence to provide blood to seal the marriage covenant with her husband (Deu. 22:20-21). She loses her innocence<\/em> in that she learns a lot about men, but she does not<\/em> lose her purity.<\/em> How do we know? Hebrews 13:4 says, \u201cMarriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled.\u201d If a man takes her to wife,<\/em> she keeps her purity, otherwise she gives her purity away and they\u2019re defiled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The covenant isn\u2019t all, there\u2019s more sanctification in marriage than just the marriage covenant alone:<\/p>\n\n\n\n For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. I Corinthians 7:14<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n A mother sanctifies her child by shedding her blood when giving birth. A woman sheds her blood to sanctify her marriage covenant and she sheds her blood to sanctify her children, that is, to set them apart and make them holy. There\u2019s no need to baptize babies, they\u2019ve been sanctified to God by their mother\u2019s shed blood. Childbearing sanctifies the mother if she follows God\u2019s program:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. I Timothy 2:15<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s more. Every month she\u2019s not pregnant, a woman\u2019s womb cleans itself at the end of her cycle. Every month, her shed blood sanctifies her womb to prepare a place where God can mould and make a sanctified child. Every month, a woman who\u2019s fallen into sin has a chance to start over again in purity if<\/em> she repents from fornication and stops doing it<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The blood a woman sheds is important to God, but how many Christians respect it? How many Christian men take a woman in lust and in fornication instead of taking her in honor and sanctification? How many Christian couples have sex before they marry? How many pollute God\u2019s sacred marriage covenant?<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s clear that God intended the physical side of marriage to be holy and pure. There is no reason to be embarrassed about it; there is no reason not to teach about it; there\u2019s every reason to respect and honor it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are two reasons Christians aren\u2019t teaching young people about marriage. First<\/strong>, Satan has blinded our eyes and made us believe that sex within marriage is dirty. The lost have polluted God\u2019s gift of sex in that men and women come together in all kinds of sick, wicked, and filthy ways. The way the lost handle sex is indeed foul and we shouldn\u2019t talk about what the lost do. But just because the lost pervert the gifts of God doesn\u2019t mean that Christians should think God\u2019s gifts are bad. We\u2019ve heard four scriptural proofs that the way of a man with a maid is \u201cvery good\u201d and has been \u201cvery good\u201d from the beginning, GOD COMMANDS HIS PEOPLE TO TEACH OTHERS ABOUT MARRIAGE<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
WHY CHRISTIANS ARE EMBARRASSED TO TALK ABOUT MARRIAGE<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
WHY CHRISTIANS ARE ASHAMED OF MARRIAGE<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
WHY MARRIAGE IS PURE AND UNDEFILED<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
GOD SAID MARRIAGE IS SACRED<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
SANCTIFICATION MEANS SEPARATION<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
SANCTIFICATION MEANS KNOWLEDGE<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
SANCTIFICATION MEANS PROTECTION<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
MARRIAGE CAME BEFORE SIN ENTERED THE WORLD<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
God Said Marriage was \u201cVery Good\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
ADAM BEING ALONE WAS \u201cNOT GOOD\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
MARRIAGE IS A SACRED COVENANT SEALED WITH BLOOD<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
WHY CHRISTIANS AREN\u2019T TEACHING ABOUT MARRIAGE<\/h2>\n\n\n\n